


The Wrong Ways to Fall in Love

by WhoknewZeus



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Usage, Angst, Cake later on, Cashton, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Graphic, Kinda AU, Love ya guys, M/M, Mainly dialogue, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, dramatic later on, i was bored, it has its kinks, it was kinda pwp at first, most of which are my own, uggh, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 10:37:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1645583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoknewZeus/pseuds/WhoknewZeus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton believes he cannot fall in love anymore; he just can't find the time to personally invest himself into someone. So he decides to use his best friend, Calum Hood, to substitute the feeling until he is able to find the one.</p><p>They were supposed to realize their love for each other, but it came in all the wrong ways. They'll hurt each other, comfort each other, and learn to hate the other. But most importantly, they'll horribly fall in love.</p><p>Maybe it was all a waste of time for them, or maybe it was a bad idea and should give up on each other... but what if it was all worth it? Will they endure it all or fall into pieces?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Male x Male story, get out if you don't like it. Any problems with the ship get out also. Any problems with me can leave as well. I made this because I was just in the mood. I will fix the summary when I can think of something to better paraphrase this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed/tweaked the summary, and I hope it got some people's attention. 
> 
> This story will be a progressing at a slow rate so readers can catch up to updates and whatnot. This was made entirely for fun (and my pleasure), so please remember that. Enjoy!

The sweltering night deterred everyone from leaving their home to find some peace from the heat. Ashton didn't mind the uncomfortable weather, for he was out back of his house trying to smoke a cigarette. He lit the noxious object and huffed the poisonous clouds into his lungs and exhaled it all out.

The band member was by his fence contemplating heavily about his life. Reflecting about past decisions and what not. It's a good thing he was not easily depressed by thinking these type of thoughts anymore.

He stared at his neighbors' houses and saw not one person in their backyards besides himself. Perhaps he was the only one capable of withstanding against the heat unlike others. He enjoyed night weathers where it became humid as it was momentarily.

He prolonged a drag and released the same gray clouds into the night air. Ashton's mind wandered very far into its caverns, finding interesting ideas and also darker ones.

 _How could I get the band to preform a show and give it to a charity?_ Probably talk to management and do some curly-blond persuasion.

 _How many years do I have before I die from lung cancer?_ Not for a long time, that's for sure.

 _What happens if I revert to cutting one day again?_ Nope. Ashton had quit cutting himself at age sixteen and never did it again up to this day.

 _Is God real?_  He is to religious people. Not so much for everyone else that thinks about God logically.

 _How do I fall in love again?_  Well, that one stumped Ashton as he puffed out more smoke.

"Ashy! Get back inside! It's hot as balls out here," Calum appeared loudly, scaring the drummer out of his mind.

"Nah, I like it out here. Gives me time to just clear the gutters," Ashton replied as he gave Calum a quick glance and then back to gazing beyond the fence wall.

Calum could have went back inside without the drummer, but he stayed because he noticed something was subtly conflicting the band member. He kept a short distance away, though. The New Zealander was not fond of the smell of tobacco and practically chokes at the mere presence of it in the air.

But he kept his urge to gag down because Ashton seemed very troubled by something. The frustration and concentration was definitively shown on the drummer's face as he threw his cigarette to the dirt. The blond rubbed the used cigarette with his shoe and took out another toxic stick to light up.

"Why did you start smoking, Ashton? It doesn't make you look cooler than you already are. Why don't you just quit?" Calum pointed a valid observation, but Ashton was not satisfied with the idea of quitting.

"Look, I'm just looking for a quick escape. Don't take it away from me, Cal," Ashton sighed annoyingly.

"Oh boy, I have so many things to counter that. But I'll just stick with the fact that you are going to get more than just a quick escape one day," Calum retorted.

The air blew between them and the warmth gust caressed their skin. Ashton discontinued the conversation and resumed smoking the cigarette and with his free hand massaging his temples.

Without any signs or warning, Ashton spoke again, "Hey, Calum. How do I become sexually and emotionally attracted to someone?"

"Oh, um, how do I explain this," The bassist scratched awkwardly at his chin.

"Actually, never mind. Forget that I asked," Ashton shook his head and forced out a smile. He took another long drag at the poison and blew out the same noxious air. Ashton was about to throw away the cigarette and head back inside before Calum interrupted him.

"Well, for starters, you just have to like 'em. Next, you notice how irresistible they look physically and how enticing they are emotionally. And then the rest is history," Calum mustered up poetic words to stimulate Ashton's interest.

"Hmm..." Ashton thought deeply about it. Calum rested his lower back on the fence, then he crossed his muscular arms against one another.

"I like that idea," Ashton finally acknowledged Calum's words, "in fact, I like it a lot." The drummer slowly walked up to Calum, tossing the dead cigarette aside, then throwing his arms around Calum's neck.

The bassist was horribly puzzled by the action, and so he tried to take away Ashton's hands off him. However, the drummer had a vice grip over him. "I don't approve of this, Ash. I'm straight."

Ashton only laughed, and the air that ran from his mouth hit Calum in the face. The stench of tobacco struck his nose, and he should had gagged right there but oddly, he didn't. The drummer locked his fingers into Calum's messy hair and pulled them a lot more closer than they were before.

Both band members had a weird gravity around the other as the orbs of their eyes aligned together and their face slowly closing the distance. Once their eyes closed, they allowed their lips to touch and tried to see where it went from there. Their lips moved rhythmically together, and Calum was losing himself to the pleasure while Ashton tugged at his hair a little more harder. The taste of tobacco plagued Calum's tastes, yet the young male found it so alluring and exhilarating.

Unluckily, it only lasted a few seconds before Ashton separated. Ashton's smile went upside down and he sighed aloud. "That was dumb. That kiss was pointless, I felt none of the things you stated." He bluntly put it.

"Ash, you have the worst level of patience in the world. That's why you will never find your soul mate!"

The two backed away and shared a peaceful moment together as the hot air ran across them like someone that was late to work on a Saturday morning. They both agreed that the kiss meant nothing to them, or at least that's what they believed. Calum didn't exactly hate the kiss, and neither did Ashton. So that was a start, right?

The other band members got out and called them to come back in. The bassist and drummer made a go-away gesture and gave each other a warm smile. They walked together back into the house before Luke and Michael had to come outside again to forcefully pull them back in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay or nay? Don't matter, at least you read it. I'm glad, and have an awesome day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm going to be working on my upcoming story for a while until I can finally post it, so I'll continue this story to ensure everyone I ain't dead c: Please enjoy it as much as you can! This was still made for fun!

It was a successful concert night; the audience was up on their feet clapping and singing along to their last song, then the light dimmed low and the band got off stage. The crowd continued to call their name and even a few "I love you!" were thrown around.

Back at home, Ashton was waiting for Luke to get out of the bathroom as that boy took forever to take one shower. "C'mon! My mom takes less time to clean her body and do her make-up!" Ashton banged on the door while Luke only sang one of their songs loudly.

"Urggh!" Ashton sighed, heading back to the living room where he found Calum and Michael playing on the Xbox 360.

He could see how concentrated the boys were at their game and he didn't want to disturb them, so he went in the backyard for another smoke. When he escaped through the backdoor, Calum's eyes wandered to his direction with a worried expression.

Ashton stood near the backdoor and took out a pack of cigarettes from his left pocket. He was about to take out one stick from the box until Calum opened the door and greeted him. "Hey," the boy sheepishly smiled.

Ashton only waved back as he fished out his lighter from his back pocket. Calum quickly took the item away from drummer, and gave him an uncompromising look.

"Gimme me it, Cal. I'm not in a mood to fool around," Ashton emptily threatened. He shook his head, so Ashton tried to retrieve the object forcefully.

Although it failed, the drummer needed to do something that could supplant his urge to smoke a cigar right now. With a sigh, he said, "Wanna go for a walk, Calum? I won't smoke or anything."

The New Zealand member completely agreed and they went on their way around the neighborhood. Their legs traveled in random directions until they were certain that they were lost. Each house they past resembled the last and it was as if they were in one of those mirror fun house.

As they wandered, they met a few people that wanted their picture but they happily complied since it was pretty late and paparazzi wasn't around. However, the entire time Ashton and Calum didn't exchange words to each other yet.

Ashton rested his bum on a nearby fire hydrant and they stopped for a break. Spontaneously, Ashton asked, "Do you like anyone, Calum?"

Calum only shook his head and stared at the moon. His smile reclined and he almost seemed dazed. Ashton wanted to figure out what was circulating in his friend's mind. Soon he realized that Calum was fatigued about something and decided, as his best friend, that he had to take upon his duty to make his band member feel better.

"Cheer up, mate. Wanna hear an inappropriate joke?" A weak smile formed on Calum's face as he nodded in response.

"Okay, okay. So there's this naked guy who is tanning under the sun at the beach, right?" Ashton paused, and Calum agreed so the drummer could ramble on.

"So the guy sees from far away a little girl coming his way and he quickly covers his genital areas with a newspaper. Soon, the girl approached him and wondered what was under the newspaper. He told her that it was only a  _bird_ resting and it can't be disturbed,"Ashton subconsciously waved his hands around, unknowingly giving his build-up some kick.

Calum wanted to question the logic of the joke but since it was Ashton's effort to make him feel better, he'd let it slide. "Satisfied with his answer, the little girl left and the guy went to sleep. When the guy woke up, he noticed he was in a hospital bed and saw the same girl on the side of his bed,"

Calum's eyebrows raised, but he was giggling on how the joke was developing. Ashton was too bubbly about the outcome of his joke that he was going to ruin the joke because he couldn't control his own laughter.

"When he asked the girl what had happened, the girl responds with," Ashton paused to prepared his best impression of little girl's voice, "I played with the  _bird_ while you were asleep until it spat in my face, so I snapped its neck and broke its eggs."

It was the conclusion of the joke that sent Calum into a paroxysm of laughter. He literally was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard that his stomach was going to barf out his dinner. "Cal, shut up! There are people sleeping!" But Ashton laughed harder at his own comment and suddenly everything in the world was just damn hilarious.

Tears formed in Calum's eyes while he caught a glimpse of the wondrous star-filled sky. Ashton got off the fire hydrant and stared down at Calum, piqued of the moon's reflection on the boy's eyes. "You feel any better?" Ashton's hand hovered in front in Calum, his own toothy smile shining.

"A lot," Calum grasped the hand and pulled himself back up. No one was around and the light in all the houses were gone; they were isolated from the public eye for the time being.

Ashton looked at Calum, the wind whistling nearby, he straightforwardly asked him an awkward question. "Do you wanna help me experience love?"

The bassist's smile quickly dropped and his eyes widen at each corner, "Um, you want me? Wait, huh?"

"I don't mean you, dumbass. I mean with  _anyone_ else. Like, help me find the  _one_ , bro!" Ashton corrected, enthusiastic about getting to meet his future lover one day.

"I suppose I can help," Calum stated reluctantly, with his hands behind his neck and face slightly doubtful.

"Thank you, Cal!" Ashton hugged the New Zealander. Without a warning, he quickly added, " Now, here are the rules: If I can't find anyone or if my hook-up isn't going well, then you're in charge of taking care of my needs."

Calum was going to oppose but Ashton grabbed his hand and they began to walk back home. Guess he can't do much about Ashton's ambitions and determination.

* * *

Once home, Luke opened his mouth but Ashton spoke out first, "I know we were gone for long, but we're home and I'm going to take a shower because I know you take your sweet time in the bathroom more than any of us," then he got close to Calum's ear and whispered, "I'll see you in my room, though."

Luke's eyebrows knitted together, expression clearly confused, as he directed his attention to Calum. All he could simply do was shrug his shoulders at the other guitarist.

It took Ashton about forty minutes to finally come out of the bathroom, but his skin looked brighter than it did before and he didn't reek of sweat and musk. So win for the drummer. He entered his room nimbly, hoping to see a certain someone awaiting him inside.

Just as he thought, Calum sat peacefully while watching him enter through the door like a weirdo. They silently gave each other a smile, yet no words being used. Ashton closed his door along with a sound of a lock clinking.

"So I'm assuming I have to take care of your needs for tonight?" One of Calum's eyebrow raised, half a smile lingering.

"Mhmm..." Ashton hummed, closing in on the New Zealand male. "I like how you don't try to fight it, you know, the fact that we are going to do this thing together."

"Eh, it helps release sexual frustration for me. I guess I'll let this go, for now," Calum remained stationary as Ashton straddled on his lap and began nipping away at his tan earlobes.

The drummer's hands combed through dexterously at Calum's hair, despite it growing into a mini-afro. His mind lusted for more, but his conscience wanted a more steady pace before going into anything more  _sexy_. Though, it was still puzzling that Calum would permit this between them.

Well, at least Calum wouldn't be the only one getting sexual tension freed.

"What if Luke or Michael catches us?" Calum murmured as Ashton's hands snaked up his tank top and pulled the article of clothing off his body.

"Just shut up," Ashton sweetly cooed, his lips fitting into Calum's. Their lips moved to an unsung song; slow dancing the night away.

Hands entwining in the bassist's hair, two hands groping their way around his waist- Ashton surprised himself when his voice turned into a soft moan. Calum was ready to make a witty comment, but Ashton hungrily pushed his tongue into his mouth.

"God, you're disgusting," Ashton said between breaths, tongue flicking at the the bassist's.

"Oh yeah, I like it when you talk dirty to me," Calum couldn't help himself from saying. The two giggled, discontinuing their kiss. Then they proceeded back to what they were doing when they recollected themselves.

They stopped again after a few minutes because Ashton decided that it was enough of the foreplay. Unchanged, Ashton was on Calum's lap and there was a half-naked Calum on his bed, they looked pretty much okay to go onto the next stage, but he didn't want to rush things still.

With nothing better to do, they slept together, non-sexually, on the drummer's bed. The two cuddled together, but their bodies heated up way too much that it made things uncomfortable. So they resolved with taking different sides of the bed with their backs faced against each other.

"You still okay being my substitute until I find the one, Cal?" Ashton questioned, only getting a hum from the other male as a response.

"Thanks, man," The two then stayed quiet until they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone enjoyed this chapter? I honestly don't know where this is heading, but I'll figure it out. Sorry I was a tease! Anyway, leave kudos, comments, etc. Whatever y'all's like! And please have a wonderful day, everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'll update this story every time I finish a chapter for my new (in progress) story. Yeaah, enjoy this chapter. Sorry for all the awkward transitions!

5 Seconds of Summer had a day-off from recording and they spent it by lounging around their house. Not actually doing anything considered 'productive.' However, Ashton actually started talking to the girl across from their house recently.

It was completely incidental that they met- it was Ashton's turn to throw away the garbage and when he got outside, the girl also came out of her house to throw away the trash. As they both disposed of their garbage, they gave each other the flirting eyes until Ashton mustered up the courage and asked for her number.

For a few days they exchanged texts almost endlessly that Luke and Michael had to pry it off the drummer's hand. "Oh, lemme just send her one more text! It's really important. Guys. Guys!" He pleaded as Luke and Michael played a game of monkey in the middle with Ashton's phone.

"Okay, you guys will seriously break Ashy's phone. Give it back," Calum interrupted them, quickly catching the phone midair and then returning it to Ashton.

"My hero!" Ashton constricted Calum before flicking off the other two members and then leaving to his room.

"Great, now we lost Ashton. See what you did, Calum?" Michael pouted as he and Luke walked away from the Kiwi, almost like they were angry at him.

* * *

It was finally time for Ashton and the girl he'd been messaging every minute to come visit the 5sos house. Ashton made sure the other members was going to behave as if they were at a fancy restaurant. Or at least he expected that from Luke and Calum, because Michael is too 'punk rock' to act formally.

The girl came early to their house for breakfast, so it all right with the guys when she arrived in her multi-colored polka-dotted pajamas. Hell, the guys were mainly wearing basketball shorts, gray sweats, and tank-tops.

Ashton decided to sleep shirtless last night, so the girl was surprised when he came to the dining table. All the boys were used to seeing each other in nothing less than boxers, therefore, they were immune to the sight.

Their female visitor had her hair in a ponytail as she adjusted her glasses to ensure she wouldn't mistaken one of the boys with someone else in the band. Although she had a few strands of her hair coming out, Ashton found her ridiculously admirable still.

"May I have some juice?" The girl timidly asked. Ashton poured her a glass of Minute Maid orange juice, and in return she gave him a sincere smile.

Calum could feel the two ready to hump each other on the table that he wanted to go take his breakfast by the TV. It's great Ashton found someone, but the member didn't want to see any form of public affection while he's enjoying his food.

"Are you two actually hungry for food? Or are you two just hungry for each other?" Calum tried to embarrass the drummer, but immediately regretted it when the two looked at each other and left the dinning table with excitement.

"Oh my god, that's despicable," Calum muttered as Michael started choking on the eggs Calum made.

"Don't be a fool, cover your tool!" Michael was able to shout between his gasps of air.

"It's too early for all this shit," Luke remarked as he took his breakfast and left for the couch in the living room.

* * *

After hours of being locked in his room, Ashton introduced the girl to his band mates. "This is Cynthia."

As all the guys greeted her, Ashton informed them all that they did not have sex in his room. In fact, they only shared an intense kiss with each other before napping together on his bed.

But because how of immature his band members were, they didn't believe him and made plenty of sex jokes around him. "I'm going to go now. I had fun, Ashton. Text me later or whatever," Cynthia quietly spoke, a forced smile was present on her face and all the members looked at Ashton for some explanation.

When Cynthia left through the front door, Michael was the first to talk to Ashton. "Now I know I am not only one that saw her sad face right now. What did you say to her, you horndog!"

"Nothing, really! I just told her when we woke up from our nap that I didn't feel right with her and then apologized," Ashton said with dispassion about his own actions. He then went to the kitchen to scavenge for food while the other three members followed.

"That's cold, like colder than the movie Frozen," Luke uttered. Ashton simply chuckled and agreed.

"You lead her on and then smash the poor girl's heart like that. Man, you are a dick," Michael said, before leaving to go watch TV.

Luke then followed along and Calum stayed with Ashton in the kitchen. The drummer poured himself milk and he prepared some Vegemite to smoother his, soon to be, toast.

"If you got anything to say about what happened, let it out now," Ashton stated as he retrieved his toast and sat down at the kitchen table. Calum kept his mouth shut and took a seat next to the drummer.

The New Zealander checked through his Twitter as Ashton continued to munch his toasty bread. And if Calum had to be honest with himself, Ashton had a really strong odor that could be compared when the band plays an awesome concert and they really worked themselves. That's how strong it was.

But because of how nice Calum was feeling, he remained quiet and allowed his stinky friend to enjoy his mildly-late breakfast. There was something he wanted to say, but he was too dubious that it would sound weird coming from him.

He wondered if Ashton was going to use him again later on. To have the same lips covering his skin, same teeth grazing at his earlobes, and the same scent of tobacco invading his nose as he takes a whiff of his best friend. It sort of excited Calum to experience it all again. Plus, he gets the benefit of having no feelings for each other besides need and release.

So yeah, you could say Calum was ready for round two, but he didn't want to say it out loud. It would make he seem desperate and real horny. Although he makes a big enough fool of himself all over the internet and interviews with the boys, but he still wanted to have his pride! Or at least what's left of it.

"Hey, I'm going to take a shower, and when I'm done, you wanna go out for a while?" Ashton asked as he finished his scrumptious meal.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Calum accepted, and if he were a dog, his tail would be wagging really hard. The Kiwi didn't even know why he was so bubbly just knowing he gets to be alone with Ashton, but he really didn't care for the moment.

* * *

It became a soon disappointment when Calum was in the passenger seat while Luke and Michael mucked around in the back. Calum must had misconstrued what Ashton meant with his words.

No matter, Calum enjoyed the other boy's company; they were -and are- band mates after all. "So where we goin', Ash?" The bassist questioned.

"I don't know. Anyone hungry?" And immediately Michael and Luke responded eagerly to the question. Ashton guessed they were going out to eat then.

They settled for a random restaurant while they were passing through. It wasn't too shabby, so they all went along with it.

"Welcome to Seasonal Wonders! I'm Zackery, I'll be your waiter this evening," Their waitor flashed a business smile as all the members sat comfortably in their chairs.

"How may I take your order, fellows?" Zackery stood with his eyes completely locking on any of them that make sound as he awaits for someone to request for something.

Firstly, Ashton ordered a clam chowder with a cherry coke to finish. Michael went with something more simple: chicken tenders, salted fries, and regular coke. Next, Luke requested bread sticks, a blue-cheese bacon burger, and water. Then lastly, Calum ordered the restaurant's medium-well steak and water as well.

Zackery seemed pleased and told them that he'll be back with their food.

Ashton knew it was going to be a while before their food actually arrives, so he excused himself from the table to go out and smoke a bit. When he exited the restaurant, the same warm air flowed through his face and he felt more relaxed.

He stayed near the curb so customers could go through the entrance without having to inhale the noxious clouds he blew out. "Can you light me up, kid?" A woman, that is no later than her mid-twenties, talked.

"For your information, I'm old enough to drink legally," Ashton retorted as he handed her his lighter.

"I like you, kid. Sorry that I had to use your lighter, I forgot mine at home," She may had acted as if she was more superior than him, but Ashton didn't mind being dominated by someone with more years on their back.

Ashton got his lighter back and they created the same gray air from their mouths. As their cigarettes continued to burn dimly, Ashton decided to tell her his name since he felt he could get something started between them.

"My name's Ashton. And I like how confident you are," He stuck out his hand to her as he puffed out a drag.

"Tonia, and how about we go somewhere where we can personally get to know each other?" She raised an eyebrow at him, flirting so openly with him when they barely met for a few minutes.

"We can go back to my car and we can see where we can go from there?" Ashton suggested, and Tonia completely complied as they both threw away their cigarettes to the cement.

* * *

"It's been thirty minutes and our food hasn't come yet, and where the hell is Ashton?" Michael started to complain vocally, and they were lucky the restaurant had other people talking loudly to cancel out Michael's stupidity.

"Mikey, calm down. They'll all get here soon, please don't make a scene," Luke said, puppy-eyes ready to tame the wild beast. Without any will to resist, Michael accepted Luke's words and hushed down. But his patience was always on a thin line.

As the awkward atmosphere took over, all the members looked through their social media sites on their phone as their respite. Calum put down his phone to look at the entrance hoping that Ashton will hurry up and come back.

His eyes focused so much on the doorway that he failed to noticed that Zackery came back with their drinks and most of their food. Apparently, his steak still needed a little more time to be finished.

Ashton chose this exact moment to finally come through the door and that's when Calum noticed him and an older woman giving each other sly smiles before parting different ways. As Ashton walked up to their table, Calum was ready to launch the barrage of questions at the drummer.

Ashton took his seat next to Calum and the bassist leaned in close to whisper."So who was she? Is she even clean? She looks like a night worker. And of all the times you could be doing something sexual, this is the time you chose?"

"Hey! Chill, man. I'll be fine, and it was just a quick bj. Nothing else," Ashton said nonchalantly before scooping his spoon in his clam chowder.

An aroma of bacon and blue-cheese caressed Calum's nose, and the fried potato sticks from Michael's plate was starting to become tempting. Ashton blew gently at his soupy meal and the air went directly to Calum's senses.

The bassist's stomach almost roared if he didn't fill it up with water. And the thing that about seventy percent of his body is made up was actually tasting really good, but not exactly filling still.

"Jesus, this is good. Want some, Cal?" Ashton hovered his spoon over to Calum's face. The Kiwi quickly closed his mouth around the metallic object and tasted the deliciousness of the creamy soup.

"Yeah, it really is," and then Zackery appeared to carefully place Calum's steak in front of him.

"Sorry for the wait," Zackery showed an apologetic smile and then left. At least Calum was able to feast like the hungry bear he was.

* * *

The boys were home for the past hour and Luke and Michael had already clocked out. Ashton and Calum were outside in the backyard to savor the day's night before it leaves in the morning.

"So, are we going to do anything tonight or are you good?" Calum asked without ever detaching his gaze from his phone's screen.

"I dunno. I kinda want to kiss you still," Ashton retorted. His cigarette lightly burning as smoke escaped the gaps of his mouth.

"I'm not so sure, bro. You got tobacco breath again."

"You didn't complain the other times we kissed after I was done smoking, so hush up," The drummer playfully blew his smoke over to Calum's face. The Kiwi waved his hand around, trying to fan away the gray clouds from his face.

The New Zealander thought about the two women Ashton hooked up with, and instantly his mind lost interest in taking care of Ashton's needs. He thought he could do it for him another day; he just wasn't in the mood for it.

"Actually, enjoy your smoke break. I'll kicking it in tonight. G'night," Calum retreated back into the house without listening to any more words from Ashton's mouth. It wasn't that he was angry at the him or anything, he just felt that Ashton had more than enough of sexual indulgence for the time being.

However, that ruined Ashton's plan to have a steamy, private moment with Calum later on. Oh well. There's always a next time between them.

It did occurred to the boy that Calum did act rather weird around him just recently. Was he looking too into it? He was just mucking around earlier, he didn't expect Calum to take it so seriously. Maybe he would go find the New Zealander later and apologize.

* * *

"5 Seconds of Summer in the house!" Michael exclaimed as he and the rest of the band walked through the club entrance. The band felt they needed to relax since their last performance had too many technical problems occurring. Luckily, they got through it without sounding too horrifying onstage so all was well.

"I always wanted to say that," Michael giggled as he took a seat at the bar, the other members eventually took their place next to him.

Hours into the night and everyone was getting stark drunk. Fortunately, Luke was too young to drink (plus, his popularity got him in the club without having any hassle with the security) so he was in charge of keeping the other boys out of trouble. Or at least he tried to.

Strong perfume and cologne plagued the whole club with a slight stench of sweat as well. Michael was on the dance floor showing a woman his 'sick dance moves.' Calum disappeared somewhere with a woman with peanut-butter-colored hair, and Ashton was somewhere nearby.

Eventually Luke gave up trying to physically find all boys and sent a message to all their phones saying that they should try their best to text him when they need it while he waits in the van for them. Also, he added a cute P.S. message saying to them to not get into  _too_ much trouble with all sorts of irrelevant emojis- such as the eggplant emoji and the dancing lady in a red dress.

The bass drops were obnoxious, the different people simultaneously bumped each other without a word of remorse, and alcohol was almost overwhelming the people's elegant scent. Ashton was fortuitous to find someone decent enough to claim for the night.

Surprisingly, he picked out a rather tall male with plenty black curly locks of hair. They both were almost wearing identical flannels and that made Ashton felt like he was looking right at his soul mate.

"You go here often?" The guy asked, pinning Ashton to the wall and cruising his nose along the drummer's jawline.

"Nope. You?" Ashton fired back, beginning to frisk the other male thoroughly.

"Me neither," in seconds, their lips connected and their tongues entwined mercilessly.

Ashton almost thought that he was a shameless pig before he reconsidered it because the guy was beginning to dominate him. His hands ghosted over Ashton's crotch and palmed at him with a bristly touch."Slow down, speed racer. You haven't even bought me dinner first."

The male lightly made a sound of amusement, "Are you indicating that we should try to date before having sex?"

"Not really. But, I wouldn't mind dating you, honestly," Ashton sheepishly smiled.

"I dig it," The guy replied.

"You dig it?" Ashton's dimples revealed itself and his laughter echoed silently juxtaposed to the music blaring the dance floor.

"Yeah, I dig it," Their lips found each other again and began to synchronized with the every beat of the song that was playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea of how I'm going to run story, but at the same time, I'm having changes being done here and there. So, I apologize if this story doesn't go the way any of you hoped for. Other than that, ENJOY YOUR DAY/NIGHT! Love ya guys and thanks for the views!~


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy the chapter! I'll try to write longer, but no promises there, because I want to write like over 5k words but I don't wanna make anyone read for too long and then they end up not finishing the chapter. Or something along those lines...
> 
> Summer school has began and taking a lot of my time lately, so I'm going to be busy for a while.

Ashton began dating, who was supposed to be his one-night stand, Jake from last night. They flirted through simple texts and small chat. None of the other band members knew about it, but he knew he had to bring it out eventually. Secrets are impossible to keep from the guys anyway.

They were finished practicing when Ashton had a bright idea to just straightforwardly tell the guys. "I'm dating a guy and I don't care if you are offended by it."

Calum, Luke, and Michael all almost dropped the guitar they were holding. Ashton didn't spare a stare as he calmly placed his drum sticks on the floor. They took their time to process the idea that Ashton was dating another guy and then accepted it a second after.

"I really don't care to whom you date or what you are into," Michael walked up to pat Ashton's shoulder, "but please try not to let me hear or catch you have sex at anytime of the day."

"Yeah, same here. But also keep the public affection at a level where it won't drive me outta of the room," Luke added. Not like it was that difficult of a request for the drummer, though.

"You okay with it, dude?" Ashton directed the question to the bassist. A nod came from the Kiwi and an awkward silence, but he didn't want to look too into it just yet.

"Okay, no problems then. Thanks guys," Ashton pulled his fellow mates into a short embrace.

"Always wear a condom, mate," Michael said openly. It was no surprise why he got a smack or two from Ashton and Luke.

"Gosh, so mean," Michael rubbed his arm while Calum laughed at his pain.

* * *

All was good until Ashton started bringing Jake back home on their relaxation days. Calum called it "the worst day" of his life because the PDA was too strong for him to endure.

To start off what made his day turn into a sickening teen romance movie, when he went into the kitchen to grab a snack, Ashton was seated upon the table surface as Jake kissed his neck and up. Calum stepped and turned on his heels before uttering, "Gross."

Then, when Calum went to the living room to play video games to kick back on his day-off, the couple was on the couch dry humping like they were in a gay porno. "Ugh, gross, man."

When Calum thought it couldn't possibly be any weirder, he immediately took his words back. He went to use the bathroom and when he finished his business, he opened the door to see Jake hoisting Ashton's legs around the male's waist and pushing the drummer hard against the wall. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He grunted, slamming the door to wait out the battle they were overtly having.

By nightfall, the affection became easier to handle as the worst they did was cuddle up on the couch. Calum sat with Luke and Michael on the other couch to not disturb the couple's peaceful moment. "I am so done with these two," Calum whispered to his best friends.

"Stop it, Calum. They look happy so you should be too," Michael said, shockingly appropriate and mature.

"But they are almost everywhere I go, dry humping everything I like!" Calum slightly raising his voice, but the couple didn't look like they heard as they comfortably watched TV together.

"Well, get used to it," Michael retorted.

"How can you? I can't get the mental image of Ashton being touched inappropriately right on the damn kitchen table. I eat there, y'know!?" Calum continued to quarrel.

Luke shook his head as he rested his hand on Calum's shoulder. "Just stop, Calum. It's pointless."

"Fine, fuck you guys," Calum pouted as the couple began to laugh together because Ashton started poking at Jake's armpits.

They continued watching all together, seldom surfing the channels when their show goes into commercial. Michael and Luke were on Facetime despite them being seated right next to each other, while Ashton fell asleep in Jake's arms and Calum only wished that a meteor came down to smash his entire being.

Calum felt ridiculous because he was supposed to be happy for his best friend for finding someone that looked decent for him. However, he couldn't exactly shake the feeling of something lingering around in his chest. Something running around and hiding like it a child playing hide-and-seek or a stray cat avoiding human interactions.

He had to remind himself to shrug it off, but the feeling wouldn't leave. Unable to continue feeling such a strange emotion, Calum went out of the house to go for a walk. A good lap around the neighborhood should help give him some tolerance to attempt to try and figure out himself.

Calum was only ten minutes away from the house until he heard his name being faintly called out from afar. "Calum! Wait up, man!" It was Ashton without his sexually dominant partner. That's something to look forward to.

"I woke up and you weren't there. So Luke told me you went out for a bit, and I ran to just catch up with you," Ashton said, breathing jagged and fast.

"What about Jake?" Ashton looked at Caum like he was something foreign.

"He said he had fun and can't wait to do it again. But enough about him, I'm pretty sure you seen and heard enough of him today."

"You got that right," The Kiwi spat his words with a harsh tone.

"Whoa, calm down. Anyways, what's wrong, Calum?" Ashton murmured, trying to use a soft voice to sooth his best friend. Calum always took things better when it's put into a gentle voice and sincere words.

"I dunno. I'm just a little off lately."

They continued to walk together as the too familiar warm air slapped their face. Ashton hesitated to say something, but he stopped himself before it came out.

"Hey Calum," Ashton stopped moving, "do you wanna kiss for few minutes? Or a while?"

"No! That's wrong and unfair to Jake, Ash," Calum denounced Ashton, not interested in causing turmoil between two good guys. However, his mind didn't exactly hate the idea of kissing Ashton. In fact, he would love it more than anything at the moment to help him release pent up frustration.

"Then what am I supposed to do to make you feel better?" Ashton retorted.

"I dunno? Something more reasonable?" The drummer rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Calum. "No, you get back. Ashton, this isn't right."

Calum wanted to refuse Ashton, because if his lips touched the other, it'd be all over and he wouldn't be able to hold back. Calum traveled forward until he was under one of the rays from the many street lamps.

"Just shut up, one kiss won't faze Jake," Ashton pulled lightly at the collar of Calum's navy blue flannel. "Just as long this is the only intimate interaction we have together." With Calum completely under his control, he pushed the New Zealand teen to the the surface of the street lamp.

"Fuck, Ash," Calum breathed out, a little shaky with excitement and fear.

There was no force stopping Ashton when he placed his lips upon Calum's. His arms folded around the other's neck and tenderly bringing them closer; they were trapped in each other's embrace and they couldn't care less about anything else during the moment.

Even if it was the same kiss Calum shared with Ashton, something subtly changed. It was supposed to feel like a hook-up between them, but the way they were kissing was almost the same as the one Cinderella had with her prince.

"Lemme place a love bite over here," Ashton cooed as he moved to a small sensitive spot on the lower half behind Calum's ear. Incidentally, his hair is grown out enough to cover up the mark when it is finished.

The Aussie's blunt teeth made contact with Calum's lightly-tanned skin, carefully clenching with enough force to not leave a complete bruise. When he was done, Ashton changed the brownish skin into a purple flower.

'More, Ashton, more," Calum never begged for anything (except when he was a kid and wanted so many things for Christmas, but that's a different story) anything in life, so it was something new to him.

"C'mere." Ashton said, pulling Calum's chin up so their eyes would be forced to gaze at each other. They simultaneously shut their eyelids, closing the space between them.

"Again, again," Calum threw words in the air that he'd thought he would ever use in a sexual manner. Ashton chuckled, tugging the New Zealander's head back a bit so their angle was perfect to collide their lips again.

When they opened their eyelids, their eyes met, and it was as if they found something special in the way they stared.

"Jesus Christ, I'm getting hot down there," Ashton backed away, his cheeks turning bubblegum-pink, curls unkempt and wild as he brushed through it with his large hands.

"I really want to finish what I started," Ashton swiped off a tear of sweat from his temple, "but I can't go all the way."

"Fuck, I know. Thanks, Ashton. I, uh, needed that," Calum exhaled loudly, his hands stuffed into his hair. A smile presenting itself to Ashton, but it seemed contradicting as fried ice cream.

"Let's head back into the house. They probably think we were kidnapped or something," Ashton suggested, as Calum put his hands away in his pockets.

"Yeah."

* * *

Ashton and Jake had been dating for a whole month with a minimum of one argument that occurred between them. It was Jake confronting Ashton about how he handles Calum; Jake explained to the Aussie that it was not his responsibility to offer himself to his best friend because he was apparently taken.

It started when Ashton confessed that he and Calum had a passionate kiss, but Ashton strongly insisted that it was platonic and nothing more. However, Jake was more angry at the fact that Ashton and Calum established such an unhealthy relationship between them.

They stopped talking for an hour before apologizing and then consulting with Calum about the problem. Jake also promised Calum and Ashton that he would not tell Luke nor Michael that something was going on between them, because he sympathized them and didn't want to cause a rift in the band.

Moving onto different news, Calum finally got himself a girlfriend so he didn't had to go to Ashton for sexual release. His lover was the same girl that he met at the club with the band. She had the same peanut-butter-colored hair and same wavy lengths treasuring his backside. Her height remained right under Calum's nose and her skin was matching her boyfriend's.

They usually spent their time trading quick pecks on the lips and tickle fights. Ashton couldn't believe he was actually feeling something for the New Zealand member. He never thought he would ever envy anyone for anything trivial, but it turned out that he did. And it's all Calum's girlfriend's fault.

Her name was Taylor Pearson; Ashton's new rival. Although Jake was a lovable person, Ashton felt as if his property, Calum, was being taken away from him. He even talked to Jake about his recent emotions and how to cope with it.

"Just leave them alone, Ashton. You're with me, and I'm with you. Let's be happy for them," Jake mumbled sweetly, while Ashton paced back and forth in his room.

"Yes, that's true. But I can't help myself, Jake! Calum's been my substitute for considerably a long time and now that he's unavailable, I'm suddenly fascinated in him again."

"That's real immature, Ashton. I know you're better than this." Jake crossed his arms, eyes strictly glaring at Ashton.

"Urggh, why can't you understand?" Ashton threw his hands in the air.

"No, don't bullshit me. Why don't  _you_ understand?" Ashton looked offended, slightly angered that his boyfriend was not seeing his perspective of the the matter.

"I don't like it. But since I like you enough, I'll let it slide over for the time being," Ashton sighed, arms back down to his sides then he tapped his fingertips at his pockets.

"I have a feeling we aren't having this conversation for one time only," Jake seated himself on Ashton's bed as he knew how stubborn his boyfriend was.

"Nope," Ashton tried to settle next to Jake but his boyfriend scooted over and distanced them.

"Oh, babe, come on! I'm sorry I had to bring up Calum like that. Forgive me," Ashton placed his head on Jake's lap and nuzzled upon him, "please?"

"You're so fucking childish," Jake let out a long breath, "but I love you, so okay." He smiled, leaning down to leave trails of kisses down Ashton's ear and neck.

Calum opened Ashton's door and saw the couple enjoying each other. He smiled and decided to not interrupt them. Even if Calum missed having those kisses down his neck, he had Taylor to do those things for him. But he knew she was too shy to ask him if she could do it, so he always did them on her.

He kept the door ajar before leaving to find his girlfriend; he was feeling lonely from watching them.

* * *

Calum had Taylor's legs around his nice waist, keeping her afloat as he didn't want her petite feet to the touch the floor. Her nose making light touches with his, and her grin made Calum want to kiss it away. Calum's room had enough random clothes sticking around that he was surprised he was able to find something clean to wear or that Taylor didn't care about it.

"So," her voice spoke as faint as air, "do you wanna have sex now or later?"

"I was hoping for later, because I still want to tease you," Calum giggled, and soon they were both sharing a laugh.

Though the feeling that something was missing was still there. Calum ignored it and convinced himself that Taylor was the girl that could fill the gap. He caressed her hair, fingers gliding through his waves of creamy-coffee hair. She clung tightly to him like a baby koala, but she was more than capable of being a tease herself.

Her body grind forward and her stomach rubbed roughly against his. The soft breasts caressed his chest as she endeavored to stimulate his lust.

"You're cute. But also really sexy enough that I want to throw my panty across the room and get down to it," She murmured, shifting her head to the right so she could plant her kisses on his lips.

"Oh yeah, I like it when you talk dirty to me," Calum wiggled his eyebrows at her as she laughed, losing all the seriousness of the situation. However, Calum suddenly remembered how familiar that phrase sounded.

Calum's smile disappeared, and he concentrated really hard where he used those words before.

"Hey, are you okay?" Taylor said, rubbing her thumb over his rosy cheeks.

"Oh yeah. Totally. Where were we?" Calum asked sheepishly, giving her his winning smile.

Calum's muscles were beginning to pull together tightly, causing him to slowly weaken his grip over his girlfriend. He crossed over to his bed and threw Taylor, making the bed scream as the weight doubled on its back.

The bassist positioned himself between Taylor's legs as he sucked on her sun-kissed skin from neck to shoulders. She moaned inaudibly, trying to not make it conspicuous that she and her boyfriend are about to engage in something sinful.

But the boy immediately remembered where he used the phrase. It was his first night with Ashton after the drummer declared him as his substitute for handling the boy's urges. A little nostalgic, he upheld his smile as he nibbled on his girlfriend's collarbone. "Harder, Cal. Please."

And he did as he was told, but in his mind something was bugging him like gallinipper buzzing under a sweaty summer night. Bizarrely, he felt guilty for what he was about to do to his girlfriend when he was supposed to be ecstatic for himself. But he couldn't shake the feeling that he was cheating on someone, and it was surprisingly not Taylor.

"God, Calum. Enough teasing, please," Her breath escaped her, squeezing her legs on Calum's thighs.

"Actually, let's take things slow," He stopped completely, apologetic and concerned as his girlfriend bug-eyed him.

"Um, uh, okay," Taylor correctly sat up and redoing her mess of a hair into something more sophisticated, "you want to talk about what's in your head?"

"I'm fine. I really want us to have a slow start so when we have sex, it means something this time, y'know?" Calum defended himself from her observant nature.

"If that's what you want, I'll completely comply. No need to rush anything, Calum," Taylor said, placing her hand on his thigh as a sign of consolation.

The two sat together as they stared at everything but each other. Calum was remembering his nights with Ashton way too vividly that he was almost imagining biting the drummer's collarbone and not his girlfriend's. They never dated, but Calum felt tied down to the other member more than he did with Taylor.

Maybe he was going through a phase. Yeah. That's exactly what it was: a phase. Calum wouldn't want it any other way. Or else it would seem like he was  _falling_ in love with his best friend. In spite of it, he did not want to convince himself that it was true.

He likes Taylor, she's a nice girlfriend. She's good for him, but he's dubious of whether he is good for her for having these type of thoughts. All Calum knew was that he needed his brain to shut up, to stop everything, clear his head.

"I'll be going in the backyard. You wanna join?" Calum asked, getting up from the bed and heading for the door.

"I'll be fine, I'm going to take a nap anyways," Taylor yawned.

Without a goodbye, he shut the door behind him and went to exit the house through the backdoor. When he stepped outside, he saw Ashton enjoying a cigarette before the two spent a moment to look at each other with longing eyes.

"I would usually offer a cigarette but since it's you, I don't need to. How ya been, mate?" Ashton grinned sincerely.

"I wanted to ask you something," Calum's expression was uncertain but his eyes were confident, "is Jake the  _one_?"

Ashton looked quizzical but he answered the question regardless. "You're a real weirdo sometimes, Cal. But I guess Jake could be the one. I haven't broke up with him yet, so that's a good sign."

"Oh." Calum genuinely looked sad with his eyes averting contact and the sudden change of attitude. Ashton was about to reach out to console Calum but the Kiwi kindly rejected it.

"Let's just enjoy the day," Calum commented as his attention was toward the vast, fluffy sky. His tone was different from usual and it sounded heartbroken for a moment if Ashton replayed the words again in his head.

For the first time, Ashton noticed a smile that he had experienced too many times in his life. It was one that resembled someone that was completely happy with their life and the gorgeous world around them, but behind it was someone breaking apart and hurting themselves trying to keep their mask from cracking.

Unlike the ones he'd seen or experienced, Calum was something more unique. His mask was more deceitful, and it looked he was seriously enjoying the paint-on sky and cloudy, blue weather. Maybe he was, or maybe Ashton was analyzing it too far.

But Ashton was so sure that Calum's voice was slightly melancholic, or was he wrong? That's how good Calum's facade was.

"Are you o--" Ashton started but stopped when Calum turned his head to face him. Suddenly, Calum looked like Calum again and Ashton would feel like an idiot if he finished his sentence.

"Hmm?" Calum responded, but Ashton shook his head and returned a generic smile.

* * *

Out of Jake's generosity, instead of having a date between him and Ashton alone, he brought along Calum and Taylor to get the know the couple better. Ashton was not so sure of how he wanted to react to it yet, but he had a bad hunch of where it was heading.

And Ashton was absolutely right, for the most part. The double date idea was awfully sweet of his boyfriend, but Jake was too reckless to not predict how awkward it was between Ashton and Calum.

Taylor tried to converse with Calum, but the Kiwi barely said any words that were significant enough to satisfy her. Jake did the same, except Ashton shot him down faster. They all ate their food in sincerity, hoping the temporary haven they built among them to not be disturbed.

"Um, Jake, since our boyfriends don't want to talk tonight. How was your day?" Taylor said, poking at her salad.

"I'm pretty good, nothing really new happened," Jake responded, while Ashton looked over to catch Calum staring at him.

Seconds into a new layer of awkward, Jake thought the group was too tense that they went back to his apartment for shots to help fix the situation. After the fifth round, everyone was buzzed and maybe Ashton and Calum were more buzzed or maybe it was Jake and Taylor.

Either way, one or more of them were drunk out of their mind.

There was sweaty dancing on the tables, someone vociferously singing  _We Can't Stop_ , and passionate, sloppy kisses all around. Jake kissed Ashton. Switch. Ashton was kissing Taylor. Switch. Calum was hungrily pressing his lips against Jake. Then after multiple turns, Calum and Ashton ended up together in Jake's room.

Ashton seated on Calum's lap as their lips corresponded to the other. They almost were in sync with every little movement they did. "I-I tink I loave yoi," Calum mustered, his brain foggy with no filter to his mouth.

"I feuh it. I soooo feuh it, beautiful stranger. It's uh exactly how Calum said it wud bee! This love thing!" Ashton laughed a little too loud.

Then that was the last thing Ashton said before the night became blank and empty.

* * *

Light struck Ashton's face, annoying him as it illuminated brighter. Ashton groaned as he moved around in bed. His hand touched his bare skin and noticed that the blanket was not covering half of his body.

Not particularly in a frivolous mood and with a painful headache, he deserved some of the blanket to keep him warm. "Jaake! Stop hogging it all, you fucking cocoon."

A sound omitted from the body next to Ashton, but it was  _not_ Jake's voice. Curiously, Ashton pulled the blankets right off the other's grip and glared at who was besides him if it was not his boyfriend.

"Fuck, it's far too early to be having this type of bird shit." Ashton cursed as he noticed a recognizable noir hair and partly built physique.

"Urrgh, turn the light off. Somebody please do it for me," Calum mumbled.

"That's the sun, you twat. Fuck," Ashton retorted, eyes closing and opening, hands in his hair.

It didn't registered into the drummer's brain that his clothes were on Jake's clean floor along with Calum's. Ashton looked underneath the blanket and noticed his own limp dick not behind boxers briefs.

Ashton looked at Calum and noticed that he, too, was naked. Luckily, Calum's back was facing him so he could only see the Kiwi's bodacious ass. For all the brain power he had within him, he could not recall having sex with his best friend at all.

When Ashton tried to get out of the bed, he collapsed straight to the floor and cursed loudly at his sore muscles. "Calum! Wake the fuck up! I can't believe you fucked me hard enough that I can't walk. Now you have to wake up this damn minute and help me, you dick!"

"Fuck! Don't yell at me, shit. You know what time it is right now?" Calum retaliated as he threw the blanket off his body and got off the bed to help Ashton. That was his intention until he saw his own dick hanging out in the open and Ashton lying on the floor nude.

"Holy shit! What happened?" Calum began panicking, grabbing the blanket to cover his manhood and most of his exposed body. Ashton knew Calum's brain could be slow sometimes, but he never imagined it was  _slower_  than he thought it was.

Both of their heads were in pain, but the situation they found themselves in was more paramount important.

"I don't know. You tell me what happened," Ashton's sarcastic tone kicked in.

The creaky door opened and Jake appeared with Taylor behind him. "What's going on so early in the morning?"

Then everything was unpleasant as Ashton's boyfriend looked at Calum and Calum's girlfriend looked at Ashton.

* * *

"Is anybody going to say anything besides me?" Jake asked as they all sat in his living room.

The silence in the room was a clear answer to his question, so he continued on. "Okay, I'll be the first to say that I'm sorry that I got everyone drunk. I didn't think it would result in having my boyfriend sleeping with your boyfriend, Taylor."

"No, it's fine. I'm actually not that mad about the whole thing. Well, I am, but I'm not," Taylor stammered over her wording, so she took a big breath and exhaled.

"To phrase it better: I'm okay with it all since it was Ashton and not some stranger Calum barely knows. Additionally, we were all drunk and who knows what would had happened if they didn't sleep together. I could have been in that bed with Ashton, or even Jake! So let's all just let this be in the past and move on with our lives. Agreed?" Taylor uneasily smiled.

Calum was hasty to agree while Ashton nonchalantly went along. Jake sighed but undoubtedly complied. The drummer and bassist still were hungover as their lovers seemed almost sober.

"How are you two not hungover as Calum and I?" Ashton pointed out.

"Because Jake made some coffee for us when we woke up and he offered me his bathroom for a cold shower. Thanks again, Jake," Taylor answered, bowing her head at Jake to show her gratitude as well.

"No problem. So we just go back to everything like this almost never happened?" Calum stopped paying attention long ago, but Ashton was still heeding his boyfriend's words.

"Yeah. Jake, get me your blanket and pillow. I'm going to sleep on the couch," The drummer uttered as he tried to force the ringing in his head to disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, there's the chapter. Do what feels right to you and enjoy your day~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how is everyone? I hope you are all fine, b/c I'm been stuck with family problems. So much family problems, man. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! I made this slightly dramatic and little smutty, but you guys will be fine!

Ashton and Calum never acted the same after their accidental night together, even if they all wanted to put it behind them or turn a blind-eye to it. Jake and Ashton were still dating, but Calum and Taylor were slowly falling apart.

She would come over with a happy expression and left with frown that was enough to tell the boys what had happened. Then Calum would leave the house to apologize to Taylor and they would romantically kiss as if they were in  _The Notebook_. Sometimes if they had a really bad fight, Calum would spend the night at her house to help mitigate their differences. _  
_

Eventually, their relationship deteriorated faster than a opened banana left on the kitchen counter over night. Their fights got worse each time and the New Zealand teen stopped trying to make her come back. Instead, he would lock himself in his room and blast Coldplay and Nickelback to help relax him.

Taylor came to the 5sos house one day with dark circles forming under her eyes, hair a mess, and the same generic smile she had whenever she entered their home. She walked into Calum's room and locked the door to ensure their privacy.

"I wanna break up," she softly spoke, "and I'm going to get into a relationship with another guy."

"What?"

"Yeah, he's my best friend. I guess we grew closer together because  _we_ ," Taylor flickered her finger between herself and Calum, "drifted apart."

"Are you serious?" Calum looked heartbroken as an abandoned puppy.

"Yes. I'm so sorry, Calum. I love you. It's just," Taylor's smile upheld but her eyes began raining, "he's good for me. He actually cares for me and he was there when I was crying at home waiting for you to come through the door and cuddle me. You stopped coming for me, so I stopped waiting."

"Sorry."

"No. Don't be. Maybe it was better this way. You won't be in pain and you don't have to worry about a girlfriend holding you down or anything," Taylor continued to cry while struggling to smile. "Please, just enjoy your life. I'm not the one for you. But I still care for you and love you. I'm grateful for you being my boyfriend this far."

"Can I at least get one more hug?" Calum grinned at her, even if his eyes were becoming too moist for him to see clearly.

"Yes, yes, you can," Taylor laughed as she embraced Calum as if she was his mother and was sending him off to college.

After the two finished, Taylor stroke her fingertips along his jawline. She was going to dearly miss that type of interaction, but she was willing to give it up for her happy ending.

"Now, don't do anything stupid and try to stay away from drugs. See ya around, Cal Pal," Taylor heartily laughed, because she remembered watching the  _Don't Stop_ music video.

"Thanks for ruining a good moment. And did I ever mention I hate the word pal?"

"Goodbye, Calum," Taylor grabbed Calum's hand and rubbed her smooth fingertips across his forehand. The two hugged one more time before she exited and never came back again.

* * *

During their concerts, Michael and Luke would sing their parts and that gave Calum time to do what he wants. He turned his back towards the audience and gave Ashton a yearning stare.

The drummer caught the little action and shook his head while giggling. They would probably get in trouble for flirting on live shows but Calum honestly didn't give a damn. His fingers still strummed all the notes perfectly and Michael and Luke were still singing their solos.

Calum did not want to draw too much attention towards them, so he winked at Ashton and faced the audience again. Ashton almost messed up when he saw how scandalous his friend was being.

To Ashton's, he candidly thought Calum seemed like his old self again and not plagued with mental instability. Because that was exactly how Calum was ever since Taylor left him. The boy was free but he was still trapped somehow. There was something still inhibiting him from being happy and Ashton wanted to help, but did not know how he was going to accomplish it.

They just finished preforming and they could finally go home. Inside the bus, Calum was already in his bed. Michael and Luke went out to grab pizza for a successful night and because they were hungry as piranhas. Even if the place was pretty far, they did not care as they wanted a beautiful pizza to fill their stomachs. Since it was going to take quite a while, Ashton and Calum were the only two occupying the bus.

Ashton was in his bed, which was below from Michael's and across from Calum's. The drummer texted Jake a good night and that he would see him soon. Calum had his curtain closed until Ashton pushed it to the side.

"Hey, Cal. You wanna talk? You seem lonely," Ashton commented.

"Sure, why not," Calum sighed, as his bloodshot eyes leered at him.

"Since Taylor left you, you've been going down the slope."

"Shut up, I'm fine," Calum lied, going back to face the blank, cream-coated wall.

"You're a fucking shithead," Ashton was exasperated and he was not taking Calum's bullshit for the night.

Ashton soon crawled into Calum's blanket and began spooning his best friend. Calum tried to push him off, but he began laughing at the touch as it was nostalgic to him.

"I want to be the big spoon," The Kiwi complained.

"Ugh, you're hopeless," Ashton remarked, as he turned his body around to allow Calum to piece his body with his. Then Ashton grabbed the edge of the curtain and closed it so they would seem isolated from the rest of the world.

They laid together in tranquility and the bus was completely empty. The bus radiator was buzzing along with the mini fridge's humming. But all the noises around them was incomparable to the sound of their light breathing and steady heartbeats.

Calum settled his chin upon the ridge of Ashton's neck. The faint scent of sweat and minty shampoo was caught by Calum's nose, and he took a prolonged inhale to remember Ashton's aroma. Quietly, he took one whiff and then another, and another after that. As he drowned himself in Ashton, his body relaxed more.

"You're a real weirdo, Cal. Do you feel any better?" Ashton muttered, stroking the arms that were around his waist.

"A lot."

"Good. I hate it when you're down, so why don't you talk to me about what's in your head lately?" Ashton inquired, but never moved his body from the sweet cuddle.

"I-I don't wanna," Calum's breath tickled at Ashton's earlobe. "We fought over something stupid."

"Well, you are stupid so I understand," Ashton scoffed. "But I'm just mucking with you, man. Please tell me more."

"I barely touched her, and then stared at you more than usual. She told me I changed and that I didn't care about her. But she was wrong, or that's what I thought."

"Oh," Ashton formed an o with his mouth.

"She got mad; I got mad. I yelled at her and she yelled back. She leaves the house angry, I'm angry at myself alone."

"Then you go to her house to apologize and you guys get super sexy with each other?" Ashton interrupted, but was not too far from the truth.

Calum chuckled and his throat vibrated against the nape of Ashton's neck. "Sure, something like that. I arrive at her house, I apologize, and she kisses me like we were in some movie. Then we go to her bed and cuddle like this."

"Oh," Ashton suddenly felt stupid to think so lowly of his best friend that after they forgave each other, they would fuck on the spot.

"However, we did have sex one time when I came to her house to ask for forgiveness. Anyway, one day we just stopped being so kind with each other." The radiator stopped its annoying buzzing and only the mini fridge continued to sing.

There was silence between them, but Calum's palm was ghosting over Ashton's stomach. Calum's heart steadily bumped, and shadows from the curtain were protecting them from the florescent lighting.

"You sound very depressing," Ashton muttered, but Calum hummed in response. The Kiwi shut his eyes and applied more pressure on the ridge as he recalled how it all went down.

"You were always mentioned in our fights. And it's silly to think that you have anything to do with our disputes, but sadly, you're a part of it."

"Why me?" Ashton shifted to face Calum with concerned eyes.

"Because she always thought that we couldn't work out because you and I had accidental sex." Calum sat up to lean back into the corner behind him.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Ashton instantly apologized for not knowing he was destroying a relationship. While all those times after the incident, Ashton was happily savoring his moments with Jake while Taylor and Calum struggled to stay together.

Regret ate his large intestine and then his small. It spread around like spilled milk and created a pool inside his stomach. Ashton was the reason his best friend could not find love, but Calum did devote most of his time being Ashton's substitute.

It is not like he able to purge himself for his best friend's sake, but he needed to have a retribution for his actions. Ashton brushed away a piece of unkempt hair to the side. Calum still had not gotten a haircut, so his hair was becoming particularly bushy.

"Taylor also said that she was competing with somebody that isn't doing anything to get my attention but was receiving all of it," Calum croaked, with his voice dropping at the end.

"What is she talking about? I don't understand," Ashton raised his voice at Calum. He felt like he was the scapegoat for Calum's predicament, and maybe he was. But Ashton was not so sure. "Why would she say something like that, Cal?"

"I didn't expect you to understand, and that's fine. Whatever. I'll deal with it on my own," Calum spoke, "I'm just dealing with a lot lately."

Ashton did not know what to do, but Calum's mask was being shredded apart and he saw a side he did not want to see. The bloodshot eyes were accompanied with waterfalls traveling down his eye sockets. Calum rubbed at his eyes to make them go away, but it still overflowed.

The silence thickened and Calum could not stop his tears. Witnessing the bassist cry was like watching a puppy howl under a heavy rain. Ashton's compassionate heart broke and he could not born to see such misery and suffering such as Calum's.

"I haven't cried in-in s-so long," Calum stuttered, not worried that he was breaking down in front of Ashton. He attempted a smile but it fell immediately afterwards. "Fuck."

"Hey," Ashton greeted, leaning closer to Calum's wet face. Without considering the consequences, Ashton pushed forward and gave Calum a quick peck on the lips. It was light and not rough, which was the way Calum preferred his kisses.

"Hey," Ashton reiterated, but instead of a small kiss, he went for a longer, slower one. Their mouth opening and trying to swallow the other member. Ashton's nose brushed lightly against the side of Calum's as he was beginning to rock his body to their movements.

When they parted, Ashton smiled warmly as the bassist's face was mixed with antipathy for himself and astonishment. It was a little bizarre to Ashton as he only kissed him. The drummer did not feel anything else other than that. He was only consoling Calum the only way he knew.

"Just for tonight, let me be your substitute, Cal."

"No, Ja-Jake-" Calum interrupted, readying his body to squirm away.

"Please!" Ashton boomed, scaring Calum for a moment. "Let's not worry about anything and just let this one be our little secret. I want to do this much for you just so you can get back on your feet."

"O-Okay."

The drummer grabbed Calum's tear-stained hands and held them apart. His head leaned back in and his lips glued itself to Calum's again. It was not as it was earlier, with more lust and hunger involved.

Ashton dragged his legs to saddle himself on Calum's thighs while the Kiwi leaned his back against the wall. Their lips slid against the other simultaneously, trying to win the battle for dominance.

"Jesus Christ," Ashton moaned, "I so need you right now."

"Mm, me too," Calum transitioned his kisses down from Ashton's lips.

He plastered his lips on a certain spot under Ashton's chin and a few centimeters back. His tongue slid across the jagged field of chin hairs, as Ashton had allowed it to go unshaven for two days or more.

The bassist muttered regrettable words against the goldenrod skin as he left kiss marks, "I hate you, Irwin. I. This is so wrong."

Since Ashton's conscience had stirred enough to become something puzzling, he had no known boundaries of what was actually wrong. His main objective/purpose was to ensure his friend's comeback. He wanted Calum Thomas Hood back in his jolly, annoying, and laughable self again.

His reason blinded him from what was actually going on. Ashton convinced himself that he was doing this as Calum's best friend, when it was naive bullshit.

"I'm not having sex with you, Hood," Ashton growled, as Calum began preforming love bites, "but I'll definitively blow you off."

Calum nodded as the life in his eyes returned. For once, he kissed Ashton while the drummer obliged to Calum's desires. Calum did fight off Ashton's tongue from invading his mouth before his went past the other's cave.

He licked Ashton's tongue and then began meandering around. While Calum enjoyed his fun, Ashton had to move things along so his hands found Calum's belt and began tinkling with it.

"Time for me to get down to it," Ashton stated, uncaring that he sounded perverted.

Calum giggled as he pushed his back into the wall and squished his muscles. He eyed Ashton as the drummer messed around with the clip of the belt before undoing it and pulling it off eagerly.

Ashton unsaddled himself and got into a doggy position. He rested his elbows and arms on the bed while his shoulders pushed forward. His back was arched as a bow and his ass was high up as a peak of a mountain. Calum lifted and spread his legs so Ashton could tightly tug down his pants.

When Calum's black skinny jeans was eleven inches away from his waist, Ashton grasped at Calum's almost erect manhood.

"No going back from here, Cal," Ashton warned, before moving his head closer to Calum's rising bulge.

Calum's breathing was hoarse. Ashton tapped his fingertips at the tip and ghostly trailed down the smooth fabric of Calum's boxer brief. It tickled Calum yet brought him enough stimulation to be fully erected. Admittedly, he was really horny and needy for release.

The drummer hooked his fingers at the elastic waistband, yanking it upwards forcefully giving Calum a wedgie. However, the tightness was not a painful in any form. Instead, it was oddly  _good_. Ashton then loosened his grip and then jerked it up, repeating the action. The friction between the material of the boxer and Calum's cock was arousing.

It was a curse that Calum was so sensual, but he was at least more empathetic than most. "Fuck, stop that, Ash," Calum uttered.

"Fine, fine," Ashton blatantly insensitive.

Attempting to expedite their moment, Ashton unfolded Calum's phallus from the boxer's layer. His eyes enlarged a little to see the complete six inches (any larger would be too unrealistic), but it did not deterred him from sucking it off.

Ashton did compare Calum's size to Jake's, even if Jake's size was larger by an inch, but he would rather have Calum's any day. The bassist no longer made a sound except the sound of his heavy, audible breathing and speeding heartbeat. Ashton was about to lick the head until Calum's hands reached past over the drummer's ears and rested upon his shoulder blades.

"Sorry."

"It's fine," Ashton replied.

He had to test the waters first. The Aussie took Calum's cock into his mouth and went half-way down the length. The rod of mass occupying his mouth's space, filling it quite quickly. Calum almost bucked his hips, trying to encourage Ashton to go farther.

Calum moaned at the new, wet sensation. Ashton focused on getting the whole length damp without having to have the cock deep in his throat. So Ashton only continued to go half-way and used his hands to jerk the other half.

His saliva coated the sensitive member in one layer and then another coating of saliva as Ashton's hand spreads it downwards. Calum rocked his hips in circular motions, and unknowingly pushed his cock farther into Ashton's mouth. Ashton had not blown someone in a while, so he needed time to adjust to the situation again.

After a gagging and choking sound, Ashton released Calum's cock from his mouth and began jerking him off. "Don't force that shit down my throat like that, mate," he uttered, with glassy eyes and saliva leaking down the end of his mouth.

"Sorry," Calum chuckled.

He was not sorry in the slightest, but it helped to say it so Ashton would not get upset over trivial things like why he did not say sorry. Ashton was a secret gentleman despite his rock band look. He was one to say "excuse me" whenever he bumped into people and tried not to curse too often.

Calum adored that aspect of Ashton; the idea that the drummer had such a sophisticated and proper side of him. Calum tilt his head back with the little amount of space he had, because the Aussie began whirling his tongue around the forehead of Calum's cock.

The drummer's lips sloppily kissed the side of the member while his hand lazily jacked it off. His lips found the base where his lower part of his face met Calum's pubic hair. It was barely a patch of grass, although, it was growing incredibly slow. Jake had it worse, so Ashton did not nagged about it.

Involuntarily, his nose had to breathe to get air in and he inhaled Calum's exotic scent. It was fresh and something the bassist naturally had. Something that attracted him like bees are to daisies. Ashton could not describe the particular fragrance except that it screamed  _Calum_.

The half-Irish individual stroked Calum's length slowly. His hand went downwards, pulling back the head slightly, and then jerked it rapidly. He applied a tight pressure, squeezing the vulnerable cock. Even without his mouth having to suck it anymore, the New Zealander's cock was damp in spit.

"Like that, Ash. Ple-Please," Calum almost begged, clutching at Ashton's shoulders. Calum's breath fastened and his nails dug into the fabric of the t-shirt.

Ashton had a mentally formed smile in his head as he liked the idea of Calum crushed by his own lustful pleasure. Calum fidgeted quite a bit, signalling that he was liking the stimulation. Ashton bent his back forward and made a hill that started from the middle of his spine to the top of his gluteus maximus.

"Nggh," Calum groaned, rubbing small ovals on Ashton's shirt.

"You're so noisy, Cal. Shut up," Ashton snickered, as he began hastily speeding his pace.

"I-I can't help, oh God, yes, myself," Calum heavily breathed out slutty toned words.

The air became humid and Ashton had a droplet trailing down the side of his head. Calum's hair was beginning to get damp from sweat and their hot breaths were not helping them cool off.

Fortunately, the Aussie's hand was also lukewarm and the sensation on Calum's manhood was bringing it near its climax. "You near, mate?"

"Y-Yeah," Calum stammered, as the pre-cum was beginning to shine at the slit.

Ashton wanted Calum to be vociferous and satisfied, but to do that he would need to go further than wanking him off. So he opened his mouth and took half the length back inside. His hands were dexterous enough that he was able to apply more force and jack Calum off without hurting the male.

His tongue tasted the pre-cum and craved for the full quality. Ashton slowly slid Calum's entire length into his mouth until it hit the back of his throat. Then it slid lower and Ashton was going to gag hard if it continued, so he pulled it out quickly.

Calum's cock throbbed and was drenched in a watery fluid as it dripped down to Calum's pubic hair. "It's been a while. Sorry," Ashton apologized.

"No, no, no. It's totally fine! You're doing great, Ash," Calum interjected while his cheeks were strawberry pink.

The New Zealand teen projected his straight smile and perfect teeth at the Aussie. Ashton looked up away from the bassist's penis, and got a load of Calum's effervescent face. Subconsciously, Ashton really adored Calum's positivity and needed to keep that energy from straying. He enjoyed having his best in high spirits. That was expected for being Calum's best friend, you had to make sure Calum was happy.

"What are you doing? I'm almost there," Calum broke Ashton was his daze.

The drummer nodded and went on with the show. He jerked Calum off and regularly flicked his tongue at Calum's slit. The bassist came immediately and prolonged moaning out Ashton's name. The Australian had an erection yearning to pop out of his zipper. If the other member did not call out his name so sexually, he would not have to be so turned on.

The bassist's cum mainly landed on Ashton's tongue, but some did land on his cheek. It did not matter so much since Ashton just swallowed everything, which was subtly arousing to Calum because he never seen it happen in person. In horribly-made porno's, he did seen it.

Calum regulated his breathing while he shoved his flaccid cock back into its confinements. "Thank you, Ash."

"No problem," Ashton backed away from Calum, and then went to the other side of the bed that was farthest from the other member.

"You want me to return the favor?" The New Zealand member asked, pointing his lanky finger at Asthon's overt bulge in his tight jeans.

"Nah, don't worry about it. It'll go away."

"Cool," Calum mumbled.

Ashton went to the bus's bathroom and washed up. Calum stayed behind in bed and wiped away the sweat collecting on his forehead. Despite getting head in their own damn tour bus, Calum was bothered about the same thought that ruined his relationship with Taylor. He was  _not_ falling for his best friend. They were friends with benefits, which was Ashton's bright idea, and he was able to release sexual tension so he would not have to worry about snagging a stranger at pubs.

Luke and Michael burst through the tour bus door and announced loudly that they had pizza. Calum quickly got up to receive some of the cheesy goodness. One thing was clear to Calum, and that was that he was  _not_ in love with Ashton.

* * *

Ashton broke up with Jake after deciding that long-distance relationships were not his thing. Additionally, Ashton and Calum became more intimate after the blowjob. They spent their night kissing and dry humping while the other members slept in their respective beds. Ashton would sometimes give Calum hand jobs if he was in lewd mood.

Nonetheless, Calum enjoyed them very much as well as Ashton. The drummer hated having to lie to Jake and Jake obviously deserved someone better than the scum Ashton was portraying to be. Jake understood and agreed with Ashton, so at least their break up was mutual.

Jake did leave a text message that baffled Ashton. In tiny, cute bold letters, the text started with, "I have a weird hunch that you and Calum used each other while on tour. And also, I figured it can't be helped since I'm not a singer so I can't be there with you." Finishing it off, it said, "Calum is a dick for taking you away from me, but you guys sure are made for each other. I expect a proper apology if we meet again. Don't text me anymore as well."

Whether Jake was pissed or supportive, or maybe both, Ashton could not guess which one was appropriate. Either way, Ashton figured Jake was right about every except the part where Calum and him were made for each other. That was wrong beyond proportion, because Ashton knew for a fact that he felt nothing for Calum.

Moreover, Ashton did not consider if Calum felt that way for him. Sure, Calum was cute and was fun to be around, but Ashton did not like him in the way Brad Pitt loves Angelina Jolie. The possibility that Calum was the one for him was still there, but Ashton was pretty sure in another universe that was true.

Until the day Calum confesses those unspoken feelings, then Ashton would have to resort to awkward glances and feeling no attraction for the New Zealander whatsoever. But he trusted his intuition that the bassist would feel everything between them as platonic and nothing more.

* * *

"Ey, Ash. Why did you break up with Jake?" Luke asked, while their tour bus was on the road and everyone was enjoying their night.

"It just didn't work out between us," Ashton halfheartedly told the truth. "He was way over there and we're way over here."

"Ooh. You're one of  _those_  people."

"Yup," Ashton remarked, laying down on his bed and using his phone.

Luke sat idly on Calum's bed since the bassist was not there. Calum and Michael were in area close to the driver while Luke and Ashton were in the area that was in the midsection of the bus where it isolated itself from the rest of other sections with walls. It was basically their bedroom because all their bunks were there.

Ashton was about to get up to see what Michael and Calum were doing until Luke spoke again, "Wait. You didn't have a problem with this distance thing before. Why now?"

"Jesus, Luke. You like asking the real questions, don't cha?" Ashton sighed, knowing that he needed to think of something that would suffice Luke's question.

"To be honest, Hemmings. I don't want to say the real reason behind it, but I will say that he and I had some flaws in our relationship."

"I see," Luke remarked, playing with piercing on his lip with his tongue.

Luke stopped prying into Ashton's personal life despite him being a part of that said personal life. Ashton then left Luke alone and went to where Calum and Michael was.

When Ashton slid the door to the right, somebody accidentally bumped into him. Scaring the holy ghost out of Ashton, the drummer noticed who was the one that unexpectedly collided with him.

"Calum?"

"Ashton?" The bassist said while rubbing his forehead.

"Nice one!" Luke cackled and rolled around on Calum's bed.

Ashton and Calum sent threatening glares over at the blond. Then, they exchanged apologies and chuckled at how idiotic they were for not paying attention before they crashed together.

"You still up for another round tonight?" Ashton mumbled as Luke continued to echo with laughter.

Calum nodded eagerly and then went past Ashton to give Luke an appropriate punishment. A tickle torture sounded fitting, so Calum jumped Luke and began rapidly stroking his fingers at Luke's sides. The shrill laughs became a cry for help as Luke gasped harder for air while spazzing everywhere on Calum's bed.

The bed sheets shifted and their bodies entwined. Calum got tired of tickling Luke and the blond was breathing heavily. Their bodies connected together and they nuzzled against each other's clothing. Ashton was amazed by their proximity, but not nearly amazed since he and Calum were  _much_  closer.

* * *

Luke and Michael were asleep in their beds as Ashton stayed awake. He sent a text to Calum to see if he was also awake.

_From Ashton: Ya awke?_

Instantly, Ashton received a text back.

_To Ashton: You ready?_

Not attempting to reply to the absurd question, Ashton pushed his curtain to the side quietly and got off his bed. He sneaked into Calum's bunk and snuggled under the blanket with the bassist.

"Aren't you rude for not texting back?" Calum asked, offended.

"Shut up, Hood," Ashton rolled his eyes and straightforwardly kissed Calum.

As the blankets rustled and the pillows ruffled, Ashton ended up on Calum's lap while the bassist had his arms around the drummer's waist. "Oy, keep quiet," Ashton muttered as Calum traced his collarbone with light kissed.

"I'll try," Calum said cheekily. The Aussie noticed Calum's hair growing more longer, and it desperately needed a haircut soon. However, Ashton did like the feeling he gets when his fingers comb through it and the hissing sounds that Calum makes when he found a knot.

Calum's grip around him tightened and pulled his body closer to Calum's if it was even possible at this point. The New Zealand member's fingers snaked under Ashton's Captain America's shield tank-top. Maybe it was incidental that Ashton was wearing what Calum dressed up as for a superhero to get his attention, but it was definitively working.

The bassist liked the red, white, and blue colors being the brightest thing he'd seen since his night started. His fingers traveled up and felt the goldenrod skin against the tips. Then Calum found Ashton's nipples and had a lewd thought of what to do.

"What do you think you're doing, Cal?" Ashton murmured, trying not to show the surprise on his face when Calum flicked at his sensitive nipples.

"Fuu-"

"You better keep quiet, Ash. They'll wake up, y'know?" Calum scoffed, knowing he was about to have some serious fun with Ashton's tolerance.

Calum pinched Ashton's nipple with enough force to make the other member jolt up to the sensation. Ashton quickly slapped his hand against his mouth to prevent perverted sounds from escaping. There was no way he was going to be one to get them caught because he could not keep his loud mouth shut. Although, Ashton thought it would be fair if he returned the favor and mess up Calum's tolerance back.

The drummer had one hand wandering down Calum's chest as the other stayed stationary at his mouth, but it knew where it was going. It slid past under Calum's constricting pants, which is unbelievable because those pants were as tight as tenement housing, and then slipped past the waist band of Calum's underwear. Delightfully, Ashton felt the hard-on and gave it a quick stroke.

"That's no fair," Calum almost raised his voice, as he released a shaky breath."You're so going to pay."

"Go ahead, Calum. Whatcha gonna do?" Ashton mocked quietly.

"You'll see," the bassist warned, biting down on Ashton's right clavicle.

Calum's teeth were oddly sharper than before, or maybe he was using more strength? Ashton could not care about the answer, but he knew the sensation was provoking him to get more rough. If that was not enough, Calum then began pressing his thumbs against Ashton's nipples. The drummer was so turned on that he would fuck Calum right there and not care about whether or not their band mates would have heard.

Immediately, Ashton ceased to play around with Calum's dick. He had to pause to swallow the impending sound that wanted to run off his mouth. Ashton never realized how good Calum was at foreplay and will never doubt the member's capability. Adamant about winning at his own game, Ashton gripped the cock and then firmly jerked it frantically.

"I'm almost-"

"Weak," Ashton interrupted, smiling as he knew that he was going to finish it in a split moment.

"Fuck you so much, Ash," Calum hoarse breath ghosted over the Aussie's skin which sent him shivering.

"Go ahead and cum, you little fucker," Ashton seriously retorted, jacking off Calum with much higher speed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Calum cursed consecutively, as he stained his boxers in his own thick, sticky substance.

Ashton got off of Calum so the teen could cool down from their steamy session together. The drummer still had a throbbing cock anxiously waiting for someone to touch it, but the half-Irish let it go for the time being as seeing Calum's embarrassed and satisfied face was sufficient enough for him.

Calum was more happy with their friendship than before. His heart fluttered to thought that he could try and initiate them to get into something more serious. He never dated a guy or romantically liked guys in general, but Ashton was definitively an exception. He wanted to make him  _his_. Calum thought if it would be weird to ask out Ashton or confess to him after getting a hand job.

"Hey Ashton," Calum said faintly, but the other member heard it clearly.

The drummer gave him his full attention and looked inquisitive as he awaited to see what Calum wanted. "What is it?"

"I think," Calum stopped mid-sentence because his throat got stuck on the words  _I love you_.

It burned like there were fire ants biting the inside of his throat, and his heart pounded extremely fast. He doubted himself for another second to reconsider if he was doing the right thing. He feared that he would destroy whatever relationship they established together. He liked Ashton's alluring kisses and his amazing blow jobs and hand jobs. But he also liked the way Ashton was so kind to him and cared about his happiness.

"I think I-"

"What's wrong? Are you seriously unable to speak your thoughts right now, Hood?"

"I think I love you," Calum fearfully stated. The words finally came out and Calum was relieved for a split second before the anxiety came back to his chest.

Ashton remained silent and bug-eyed Calum. When he processed what the New Zealand member said, his eyes quickly averted the other. There was no embrace of joy or shrills of happiness or even a heart-filled kiss. There was nothing but silence.

"Oh," Ashton muttered.

"Shit, I messed up, didn't I?" Calum quickly berated himself.

"No, you didn't. You love me as a band mate and brother. Right?" Ashton tried to make the topic more light. However, Calum's seriousness and determined eyes proved otherwise. "You're for real."

"Yes, I am," Calum stated firmly, but Ashton could feel the heartbreak impending soon.

"Please don't beat yourself over it, Cal," Ashton tried to console the other member. "I just don't love you back."

The bus hit a bump and the members bounced a little on their beds. A mechanical whistled sang throughout the silence between Ashton and Calum. The two awkwardly sat together and dodged each other's stare. Calum never felt more like an idiot as he did there. Meanwhile, it broke Ashton's heart to have to be the one to hurt Calum after working hard to ensure his best friend's happiness.

"I'm just going to go back now," Ashton got up from the bunk and looked back at Calum. The bassist never returned a glance and crept back into his blankets and turned his back at the drummer.

Once Ashton was back in his respective bed, Calum laid innocently as his heart crumbled apart silently. He felt crushed, defeated, and hopeless. His pillow swallowed up his tears and created a pool for him to drown in. It was not supposed to hurt as bad as it did, but Calum felt so emotionally and physically attached to Ashton that he could not help but fall in love with the Aussie. Ashton's freewill and kindness always amazed him, but he loathed that he would not be able to tie Ashton down. Calum tormented himself thinking about all of Ashton's physical beauty. Ashton's giggly laughter, Ashton's alluring breath after he smokes, Ashton's skillful hands, and Ashton's irresistible kisses that would make Calum turn his back on Heaven or Hell. He convinced himself the ideal epitome of beauty to him was Ashton. He soon realized terrifyingly that he was the antithesis of Ashton. He was not as freewill as Ashton, for he was becoming dependent on the drummer's attention.

It was stronger than what he felt towards Taylor, and it hurt far worse than when she left him. It was a pain Calum never thought was possible to feel, but it was hitting him right in the chest. His tears flowed down his face and he never made a sound. The reality of the situation was that Ashton did not love him, and he was rejecting it with all his willpower. He was in denial. He knew when morning hits, his eyes would look obvious that he was crying but he would worry about that later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos, comments, or go read another story. Do whatever feels right to you and please take care! My life is changing quite a bit this summer, so Idk when the next update is or when I can work on this story. I thought I would let you guys know.
> 
> Enjoy your day/night! Thank you for reading this far!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, thank you for getting this far! Thank you to those that waited this long! Thank you for the ones that left kudos and comments! And just thank you for reading this story! I really appreciate it~ I made the length of this chapter much longer than it usually is to compensate. Enjoy the chapter! Sorry for all the smut that's about to happen, but it's not just randomly there. It has its reasons! (Maybe not the best reasons, but my story, soooo...) Please look out for that~
> 
> At the end, I would like you all to read the notes if you want an explanation of why it took so long to write this chapter and whatnot. Or if you are just bored or whatever your reasoning...

Ashton and Calum kept a distance after that night. The drummer thought it was better to wait for the tension between them to disappear. He had nothing to feel bad about since he told the truth. People like the truth better than the lie, right? Except the face that Calum made was turning his pride around. Calum was, and is, his best friend, so why should a stupid little crush wreck their friendship?

After thinking about it, Ashton decided that it was easier to forget about the whole thing. He just wanted Calum's company back. He liked having someone there for him when he could not find someone to fill the emptiness in his heart. He had Calum to do that for him, for the New Zealander was his favorite substitute.

He especially liked when Calum played roughly with him because Ashton was a slight masochist. It sent shivers down his spinal cord whenever Calum bit down on his collarbone and neck. Those were the nice little things that the oldest member always appreciated.

The problem was how he was supposed to fix the wide gap they left between them. They both build towering walls for each other, and Ashton was sure he was not able to destroy Calum's or his.

Perhaps Ashton had to let things take its natural course and hope things work out. If not, he should not care so much. That was the plan at first. Ashton never imagined how difficult it was going to be to endure nights by himself. The way the radiator buzzing would remind him the sweet, guilty bliss they shared together. The empty space that lingering behind him, and the absence of laughter coming from the bassist. The mask that broke came back on Calum's face. It came back with chains to bound it to his head. Ashton knew he was the reason for Calum's sudden reticence.

Michael and Luke sensed that something had happened, but they were never presumptuous. They wanted to wait until their assumptions were proven true.

* * *

"Back home, at last!" Michael shouted as he collapsed upon the couch.

"Mikey, scoot over!" Luke mumbled, falling upon Michael like a dead body.

They were exhausted from their concerts and fan meet-ups. They finally had three weeks to waste on relaxing and enjoying their lives before they were considered stars. Calum came in with an indifferent face. He dared not to show any emotions on his face because he was afraid to be vulnerable again. He hated being so stupid.

Ashton remained outside, for he was smoking more cigarettes than usual. Calum trotted back to his room and never looked back to check on the drummer. Michael and Luke fell straight to sleep and would complain about their sore bodies in the morning. Until then, Ashton was going to enjoy the silence like he always had.

"He really  _loves_  me, huh?" Ashton chuckled as he puffed out a gray cloud.

The dogs never howled or barked, nor did the cats meow across the streets. The weather's temperature went down by about five degrees. It was odd to Ashton since he was adjusted to heated winds. It was still pleasant change because Ashton was getting tired of sweating during the night.

His memories betray him and continue to replay the things Ashton wants to forget and burn. He reminisced the scene once again. Calum looked at him with hopeful eyes, and his lips moved to the words ' _I think I love you_.' The way he stuttered before saying those heart-filled words. The innocent bassist must had contemplated endlessly over whether he was going to say it or not. Ashton felt the anguish striking at his stomach as it danced on his acids. It stirred and pinched until Ashton almost had to bend over to mitigate the damage.

When he said no, he was doomed for the fall.

The drummer took one last drag of his cigarette. It seemed more wrong every time Ashton thought about how he broke Calum's heart. The drummer opened the front door and entered. For the first time, there was a feeling stronger than his emptiness. The drummer looked around for Calum, but he only saw Luke and Michael on the couch.

Relentlessly trying to not place his hand over Calum's doorknob, he did it anyways. It would only take a simple clockwise turn to unlock it, but Ashton did not know if he was ready.

He had three weeks to waste, so he could wait a little longer. Right? Maybe? Would that really be fine? Ashton was at a lost.

The drummer had to move all the muscles in his hand to turn the doorknob, or he could use all the muscles in his body and go back to his room.

Ashton was not running away, for he was only resting and dealing with it another day. Though, he should really make up with Calum.

"I'm sorry, Cal," Ashton murmured, turning away from the door and heading back to his room.

* * *

Morning hits Ashton's lonely cave of darkness, and the male groans as he realizes he should confront Calum. Although, the drummer purposely avoiding Calum until matters escalate to dangerous levels was working pretty well.

"Ashton, wake up! Time to eat," Michael came barging in, knowing he was being so damn annoying in the morning.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Michael," Ashton threatened, in an exhausted voice, from beneath a heap of blankets.

"Let's go, big guy. Family bonding time," Michael persistently urged Ashton to go to the kitchen.

Michael had to snatch the blankets away from Ashton's body. With some heavy threats and numerous curse words used, Ashton was finally at the kitchen table with Luke and Calum. Michael was proud that he was able to talk his way with Ashton this time since he would usually end up with a bruise or two if he disturbed the sleeping drummer.

"Your eggs taste like shit," Ashton uttered as he took a stab at the yellow substance and shoving it in his mouth.

"Then don't eat it, dipshit," Michael refuted.

"Well, if anyone's eggs are shitty, it's Calum's," Luke added, hoping to save his band mates from arguing.

"Very funny, Luke," Calum chuckled, causing Ashton's face to light up.

Ashton had not heard that perfect sound in a while, and he was savoring it until it went silent. Even when it died down, his ears mesmerized it. Slowly, Ashton was unaware of how dependent he was becoming on Calum.

Luke finished his breakfast first, and he went to go take his shower. Calum finished second and went to the other available bathroom to shower. Michael tried to be polite and said he would let Ashton go take the last bathroom, but the drummer kindly refused him. Michael left the table and Ashton stayed in his seat, wondering if he should take the risk to visit Calum tonight.

He had to do it. There was no way he should back out.

Ashton grabbed his plate and stood up to place the dirty dish in the sink. He looked around to see the morning sunshine gleaming harshly throughout all the windows. He expelled a rough breath, and inhaled the a small part of the atmosphere. He walked over to the bathroom where Calum was at. If it were not for the loud cascading water crashing, Ashton swore he heard a few moans coming from inside.

"F-Fuck, Ash," Calum hissed the drummer's name crudely.

How was Ashton not supposed to be turned on by that? He grabbed the handle of the door and turned it, quickly noticing that it was left unlocked. He did not push the door, but he did know that he could come in and interrupt Calum's sexy moment. The drummer released his grip and sat down with his back against the door. For a while, he tortured himself by hearing Calum's quiet sounds of pleasure.

"You're so cruel," Calum stated.

Ashton could imagine the New Zealander stroking himself as the water moisturizes his body. The long fingers clamping onto the member's throbbing hard-on, and the dozen of droplets exploring in places Ashton wanted to touch. A bulge was becoming overt in the Aussie's pants.

"You're the one being cruel right now, Cal," Ashton retorted, knowing that the other member would not have heard it.

It would be stupid if the durmmer decided to touch himself in front of the bathroom door and out in the open. He was not exactly an exhibitionist, so he restrained himself from doing anything lewd.

"I-I'm almost ther-" Calum uttered. Ashton could see a mental image of the bassist speeding up his strokes and closing his eyes. The erection in his pants was starting to uncomfortably poke at his zipper.

The shower head stopped running, and the curtain rings scratched against the metallic pole that is holding it. The Aussie assumed that he was done playing with himself, so he left before he did something drastic and spontaneous.

After Ashton disappeared, Calum opened the door and peeked outside while his hair was still wet. He looked to his left to see no one. He looked to his right to see no one. There was no one. Calum shut the door and locked it. He was still nude, but he did not care. The bassist really had hoped that Ashton would come through, but he was foolish to think that someone that did not want him would try to claim him as theirs.

He should have locked that door if he was going to see nobody at the door. What an agonizing joke he played on himself.

"I'm pathetic," Calum laughed to himself as his eyes focused on his pale feet.

* * *

It was the same thing again; Ashton had his grip over Calum's door handle, and he could easily twist it. Then, he could push it and talk to the bassist and all their problems could be resolved. Happy ending...

If only that was as simple as he thought it was. Things are easier said than done. The same shadows shrouded the drummer, giving him the comfort of being hidden from plain slight. "C'mo Ashton, just a little turn and push is all it takes," he tried to motivate himself into doing the action.

Normally, he would not go this far to make someone come back. If someone wanted to exit his life, he gladly would show them the door. If it was not meant to be, it really was not meant to be. However, Calum was an exception that he tried to turn down. Ashton had known Calum for years, and he was even friends with benefits with the member. Plus, needless to say, they were in a band together. It makes sense for why Calum was the exception. Nothing  _more_  to it.

Three weeks were still on the table, so Ashton thought tomorrow would be a better day. He left with more remorse in his stomach than the night before.

* * *

The day went by quickly and boringly, and the boys had enough of the wasting their time at home. Michael thought it was time for a boy's night out. Ashton knew he had to be the one to drive them to a pub and could not drink since he was their designated driver as well.

Ashton knew Luke recently turned 18, so the taller member was going to get drunk like Michael and Calum. The drummer sure liked it when Luke was underage and had a  _little_ helper to carry the drunks out of the pub to place them in the vehicle to go home.

"Relax, Ashton, get a drink or two. Treat yourself," Michael loudly stated as roars of laughter came from every direction. They received an exclusive table because of their rising popularity. Other than that, they were still treated as normal customers looking for a drink and a good time.

"Well, cheers to us!" Michael shouted, grabbing his pint and taking a good gulp. The other members soon followed the action.

One pint down, but Ashton only got halfway with his. Michael was more giggly than usual when he was finished his third. Luke was sending flirty faces at all the members when he reached two and a half. When Calum reached his fourth pint, he was starting to look at Ashton with an appealing smile and yearning eyes. The look was feasible for danger, and it excited the drummer to wait if something would really come.

A few flashes lit the pub since 5 Seconds of Summer was drinking, and it would probably end up as a good headline for the stupid media. At least they had their private table to separate them from the paparazzi that were there. The bouncers made it clear to the unwanted photographers that they had enough pictures and kicked them out. Any other unnecessary photos being taken of the members would meet the same fate. The boys thanked the two menacingly looking men for their help, and, despite their looks, they smiled gently and nodded.

"I'm going for a smoke," Ashton excused himself from the group.

When the drummer left through the door, Calum smiled at his best friends before saying, "I'm going to the bathroom."

"I wandur wot-"

"Sheuta up, Luke!" Michael yelled, quieting the taller member down before both members breaking out in laughter senselessly.

Cars zoomed through, headlights flashing and going. The air became cooler again, and Ashton got far enough from the pub since they had a no-smoking zone. Ashton reached deep in his pocket to find his cigarette box and lighter. From behind, a hand grasped at his wrist. When he turned to see who it was, Calum was smiling like a goof at him. "Cal-"

" 'ey der," Calum greeted, stepping into Ashton's personal space.

"-um," The drummer finished, trying to figure what he should do about a drunk Calum.

Ashton pulled Calum back to the minivan. Luckily, they were not seen by too many people and made it back safely. Calum sat in the backseat as Ashton sat in the driver's seat. The night was still young, and people walked peacefully past the vehicle without noticing they were inside. It may be Ashton's fault since he made all the side-windows tinted. It was to protect his friends and family's from the paparazzi attacks.

"Asssh, I lub yu vry much," Calum slurred, sliding his arms through the opening in the drummer's armpits.

The Aussie immediately yelped at the contact, but he clapped his mouth together when Calum began groping his pecs. The hands circulated in slow motions, and Calum placed his lips closer to Ashton's ear from behind. "I waut you."

The huskiness was beautiful, and the plain breath that tickled his ear. Ashton always wanted to be compliant to Calum's orders because it was a big kink of his to be dominated. It was a shame Calum was too gentle and easygoing to accomplish the drummer's fantasy.

Until the bassist got drunk, the wish would not be so far from becoming true. "I could call out sexual harassment and rape on you, Cal, but I'm enjoying this far too much to consider any of those," Ashton murmured, releasing a held breath.

He preformed a body roll as Calum squelched Ashton's chest. The New Zealander closed the space between his lips and Ashton's neck, attaching a wet kiss to the male's skin. The alcohol infused with Calum's scent, creating an intoxicating and addictive fragrance that the drummer never thought would be enchanting. It left a fruity trail with wheat distinctively coming after it. Calum talked while his lips were still on Aussie's neck, "Ue arg sooo beauetful."

"You're so wasted, Calum, but let's see if I can get drunk from the taste of your mouth," Ashton cooed, using his hands to pry off Calum from his ridge. He moved his head to the right in a smooth motion and captured Calum's lips.

Was he taking advantage of Calum? He was certain that he was, but it felt amazing to kiss the New Zealander again. The Aussie could just pass it off as a drunken mistake, and the bassist would probably apologize a thousand times to show his remorse. If it would get to that point, he will lie to protect the truth.

"Goddamn, Cal, I needed this for awhile," Ashton growled, shifting his position from the driver's seat to the back. He sat on Calum's thighs as the bassist remained seated with a drunken smile.

"Lub yu," Calum muttered sincerely.

Ashton stopped functioning for a split second, acknowledging the discomfort those words brought to him. It reminded him of the tears on the New Zealand member's face, and the rejected-look that accompanied it. Calum's left hand palmed at Ashton's bulge, and the drummer immediately sensed the guilt coming to torment him if he completes the deed.

Originally, he was going to let Calum stay alone in the minivan while he retrieves Michael and Luke, so they could all go home and rest the night away. Until the bassist cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a chaste kiss, the plan was thrown out the window faster than Calum messing up on making sunny-side eggs. It only took one moment for Ashton to change his mind and fuck over conscience. The familiar taste of hops, wheat, and yeast exploded his taste buds as Calum's tongue left the flavor lingering in almost every corner of his mouth.

"Come here," Ashton uttered, indulging the addictive taste that was coming from Calum's mouth. The four pints adhered and fused with his saliva, so Ashton could possibly get slightly tipsy if he kissed the bassist very intimately enough.

Their noses made small friction between each other as Ashton's curls entwined with the bassist's hair. Both of their bulges were jabbing at each other, and the motion created a pleasurable stimulation. With the heavy, lukewarm breathing, the air quickly became humid. It was not like they cared, though.

Calum separated their kiss, gaping Ashton with dark lust. His voice was lower than usual, "Suck meh off." It was almost clear and threatening, and Ashton loved it. He quickly removed himself from Calum's lap and got on his knees, despite the small amount of space he had.

"Better make this quick, Cal," Ashton lightly laughed, unzipping the pants and pulling out the erected dick.

He was going to take it slow, but the bassist clutched at Ashton's hair and forced the member to swallow the whole length. The head hit the back of the drummer's throat, and he almost wanted to vomit on Calum. He pulled back instantly and wiped away a few forced tears. "Ueh can do bettah than that," Calum scoffed, pissing off Ashton and challenging him.

"So you finally want to play rough, huh?" Ashton recovered momentarily, grabbing the manhood with one hand and thumbing over the slit with the other.

"Mmm, lke tat, baby," Calum tilted his head back against the seating. His eyes slowly shut and never opened them again. His breathing and moans signaled Ashton that he was awake and not dozing off into the clouds. The drummer did find the nickname a tad unsettling.

The car made a tiny shake, but the people passing it by never noticed. They laughed as their scarfs and coats kept them warm from the new drop in the weather. The street lights illuminated the town and guided people to their destinations. Michael and Luke remained where they were seated, and they never stopped laughing about, literally, nothing. They did not realize how long Ashton and Calum were gone because they were soaking up terrible puns and pints for a while. Michael might had even kissed Luke at one point, but it really meant nothing. They were too drunk to care about the publicity they would get afterwards.

Meanwhile, Calum was getting more vocal with his moans. It made Ashton laugh, but the drummer knew he had to keep Calum quiet before someone actually heard the seductive sounds. "Ca-Cal, shut up, you're going to get us caught," he softly snickered.

For once, the Aussie did not want the morning to fly in, because that would mean hungover friends and taking care of said friends. Ashton was not in the mood for that any time soon. Therefore, he was going to enjoy himself and savor every second before the tables begin to turn on him.

He settled his lips on the tip of Calum's cock, slowly letting it bypass into his mouth while his hand continued steady strokes. When Ashton's eyes wandered up, they caught a pair darkened, drunk pupils and white smile. Even when the New Zealand member was drunk, he held the same longing stare with the same affection. "Pretty," they said in unison with the other.

In that shared moment, it sparked something in Ashton's heart that made him confused. It surged through his body, and the sting it left behind was definitively real. Even if his mind was at a lost, his body resumed functioning. Calum came immediately, practically shouting Ashton's name into the air. The half-Irish member was certain that a few citizens would be able to hear that erotic sound. Oh well.

Guess the drunken state inhibited his endurance level. Regardless, the Aussie took the load down his throat and slightly indulged in the taste.

The Aussie slipped the flaccid cock back into Calum's boxers and zipped up his pants. He was about to say something to the other member before Calum stayed almost lifeless in his seat. With his head resting back, the bassist was actually asleep. "That's a little disappointing," Ashton bluntly said, shrugging it off as he exited the minivan to go fetch his friends from the pub.

* * *

Fourth day out of the twenty-one days of their break, and Ashton had to let the three members rest their hangovers away. However, Michael encouraged the headache-struck members to be "punk rock" and try to eat breakfast, but Ashton endeavored to discourage them from forcing themselves in their current state.

Either way, he was going against Michael. The guy that was great at persuasion. So, Ashton had the pleasure to watch his friends suffer and endure their way to the kitchen table. "I'll get you all some water, it's important to stay hydrated," the drummer stated motherly, going to check inside a top cabinet next to the stove. All the boys took a seat as they groaned in misery.

"Get me, oh god, my stomach," Michael clenched his arms around his gut, "anything that is a sports drink."

"Powerade it is," Ashton noted down in his head, waiting by the fridge if the other members wanted something else to drink. "One Powerade and two water bottles then."

Grabbing the beverages out of the fridge, he settled each the bottles to its respective band mate. They all thanked him for his assistance. Ashton was famished, so he went back over to the fridge and grabbed an egg carton and the packaged bacon strips. He remembered seeing some wurst in the freezer and retrieved it.

"Not much of a cook, but I can make something simple for you all and myself," Ashton commented, hearing something from the boys that he assumed was gratitude.

"Thank you, Ashton, you're the best, oh fuck," Luke rubbed his forehead on the table surface. "Goddamn, please bring me a bucket!"

Ashton grabbed the trash can that was on next to Michael and placed it to the left side of Luke. The tall member barfed into the bin without sparing another second. By the way Calum looked with one hand over his mouth and cheeks being puffed, he was going to vomit as well. The drummer looked for an available object for his best friend, but there was nothing satisfying.

Calum started to fidget in his seat, and Ashton pulled out a bowl from a cabinet and rushed it over in front of the Kiwi. Not thinking much that it was one of the cereal bowls they used, Calum released his hands and spewed onto the object. Michael rolled his eyes and diverted his attention from the two members puking. It was not a good way to start his morning, but for Ashton, it made him laugh uncontrollably over how awful it smelt.

"We'll just, Jesus Christ, replace that bowl or somethin' because I'm not washing that," Ashton remarked, bending over as his stomach gasped occasionally for air.

Needless to say, the bowl was thrown away once Calum filled half the inside of it. The Kiwi sat patiently with his head face-down, smelling the freshly made bacon frying in the air. He pondered himself over what he did after getting tipsy. All he recalled was waking up in his room before Michael came in to tell him to follow him to the kitchen.

A plate filled with scrambled eggs was placed in the middle of the table. Ashton took a few plates from the top cabinet for each member and handed each of them a fork and kitchen knife. Ashton cursed his good nature, but he knew the guys appreciated it.

Ashton still had bacon and wurst to make, so he returned to the stove. Michael picked a third of the plate as did the two band mates. They ate peacefully as the pan sizzled, but Calum really craved the bacon part of his breakfast more. He waited as Ashton hummed a song that he did not know. Incidentally, he was staring at the the drummer's backside and studied the clothes Ashton chose to wear.

The oldest male had a black tank top with many small holes at the shoulder area. There were even some near the bottom, which the fabric was sprawled on Ashton's  _bottom_ , and Calum lost focus for a moment. Despite his brain wanting to bang itself against his skull, Ashton's skintight jeans was hugging his bum so nicely.

He wondered what it would feel like in the palm of his hands. Just one squish should suffice Calum's yen... "Calum? Cal? Hey!" Michael raised his voice, bringing Calum back to reality.

"S-Sorry, I really wanted some bacon," Calum poorly excused himself, but Michael nodded his head because it made sense.

"No worries. I really want some bacon, too." Michael plainly agreed, turning his attention to Ashton, "Cook faster!"

"Stop yelling, my head's still killing me," Luke whined, rubbing his temples softly.

The drummer ignored his friend's complaints, but they were correct that he should make the food quicker. Then again, would they like it raw or burnt?

Everyone but Ashton finished their eggs, and they even left some for the chief himself. They were not entirely inconsiderate. The three guitarists pulled their phone out and went on the internet for the time being. Michael and Calum were on Twitter while Luke watched a penguin documentary. Something about the emperor penguin and the other species really caught Luke's eyes.

"They're finally done!" Ashton exclaimed, sitting down at his spot on the table. He carefully settled the glass plate in front of him while his band mates drooled over the greasy pieces of meat strips. "There's enough for everyone, calm y'all's tits!"

* * *

Breakfast was over, and the boys were all content with their stomachs. Luke went over to the couch to fall asleep while his head still throbbed. Michael went back to his room to rest. Calum almost left the table as Ashton scrolled through his phone.

They were seated across from each other, and, yet, there was an unbreakable silence between them. Calum was not surreptitious with how he was openly gawking his drummer. The Kiwi liked how messy Ashton's hair grew out to be, for his lanky fingers to caress and untangle the knots. The way the drummer's eyebrows move closer together as he seemed to concentrate on something on the little screen. If only Calum could reach out and close the distance between them.

Headache or not, the only thing more painful was not being able to touch the goldenrod skin of his best friend... best friend? Were they still best friends at this point? They should be laughing together over a dirty joke or playing video games. Instead, they were sitting in silence together with one-sided glances. Best friends? Perhaps not anymore.

Ashton seemed to get the idea that they were not in the position to talk to each other, so Calum decided to head his way out of the kitchen. He was tired of the silence, anyway.

The drummer immediately looked up from his device. The Kiwi turned around and was surprised to see Ashton's gaze, but he spoke, nonetheless, "I need to know if we're okay. Like, if everything is fine between us?"

"Of course, mate! I wouldn't want it any other way," Ashton practically chirped.

"And this  _crush_ I have for you, it won't bother you at all?"

"Nope. Not at all. Nada. Please, let's start talking again," Ashton cupped his phone, anxiety filling his being up.

"Great, I missed you, bro," Calum happily smiled, almost doing a little jump to express his accomplishment. Of course, if it was not for his headache that he had been trying to neglect.

"So," Ashton eagerly tapped at the table edge, "what do you remember from last night?"

It was a sudden question, but Calum answered it, "Um, just entering the pub with you guys and drinking. Things get hazy from there,"

"Ah." Ashton diverted his eyes from the bassist, meaning that there must had been more to last night than he thought.

"What did I do, Ash?" The New Zealander took small steps towards the Aussie.

"I know we just made up, but you and I  _kinda_  got, well," Ashton stalled, "intimate with each other."

It was the wake-up call Calum was not expecting, and he cannot believe he took advantage of Ashton! Because getting drunk usually led to really bad decisions, and he must have sexually assaulted the drummer while assuming his feelings were all over the place. By adding that into the imagined scene that was in Calum's head, there was no way Ashton would have stopped him or said no to him.

"I know what you are thinking," Ashton sighed, cause cursed being analytic, "you shouldn't apologize for anything. I should be the one since it was  _me_ that took advantage of  _you_."

The Kiwi's jaw dropped as far as it could, and he stammered over his words. Ashton shrugged as he gestured Calum to take a seat next to him. At least Ashton did not say everything that happened between them bluntly, for that would probably tear the bassist's heart apart over how sexual it was. Though, the scenario was purposefully supposed to be normal between them, nothing they are not familiar with.

"I'll give you the choice, Cal," Ashton stated, watching Calum settling himself on the chair. "I vocally say what happened, or I physically show what happened."

Calum looked around and heard Luke's snore from the kitchen. Everyone must be asleep by now, so it should be fine if he chose to start something between him and Ashton. "Physically, please."

Ashton knew he was supposed to protect Calum by lying about last night, but he would rather have fun with the truth instead. Even if it gets perverted and distorted along the way, it would only make things more interesting for Ashton's taste. The Aussie smiled at him and moved himself onto Calum's lap with their face really close together. "Alright."

Their lips almost touched, but the half-Irish member knew better than to give what the New Zealander what he wants. "First of all, I sat in the driver's seat while you were behind me." Ashton transitioned his position, so the backside was facing Calum.

Meanwhile, Luke slept nicely on the couch. Michael was in his room drifting off to dreamland while his phone laid on his face. The chair screeched as it slid across the tile flooring. Calum and Ashton laughed as they try to make each other shut up. It was not right, for the Kiwi was not supposed to fall into the same trap with his best friend. It could not happen again, but it did. He allowed himself to follow Ashton down the misleading path of false love.

He had to cut it off, but his dependency on the drummer won him. The Aussie became the poisonous gas that would kill a weed on the pavement like him. As he withers, he would take whatever Ashton had to offer to fill his veins until he was finally nauseous from it. A virus that he did not want to erase, for it was something he had been with for so long. It would be weird if he was away from it so suddenly.

Therefore, Calum allowed himself to be caged by Ashton...

"You groped me and leaned in my say to whisper that you wanted me." The oldest member cooed, moving his ear closer to Calum's lips. He held onto the bassist's wrist and moved them over to his pecs.

"I still do."

A chuckle came from Ashton, "It's nice to hear it sober."

"I bet I told you that I love you while I was drunk," Calum caressed his cheek on Ashton's neck. "Sadly, I still do."

"You did, for your information," Ashton retorted, "and I still don't. Sorry, buddy."

"I  _know_." Instantly, the drummer felt the torment coming up and swelling in his stomach. Its turbulence sending Ashton far into regret. If his body was the ocean, then the feeling was an oil spill contaminating his very essence.

"Even if I don't return your feeling, will you still want to go further than this?" It came out more as a warning, but Ashton had to make sure if Calum would still comply with all this.

"I'll take whatever I can get, just your body will be enough for me."

The drummer smiled at the answer and took Calum's hand in his. He led them to his room and continued from there.

* * *

Calum woke up to the stillness in the room. He was still in his clothes since they could not go all the way due to members sleeping in the house. They liked to be loud if possible. So, they had settled with giving each other blow jobs simultaneously.

Periodically, Calum checked his best friend that was resting on his chest. Ashton was not going to wake up in a while, so Calum had time to think to himself. Just until his mind got twisted and strange.

It became boring for a while. Watching the ceiling as if it will collapse on him, the Kiwi massaged his best friend's head. Life actually seemed easy, for the time being. Sunlight brighten the room, illuminating the mess that is Ashton's room. It was typical since they have not started their laundry day. Calum needed to contemplate what he should do about Ashton because he was diving into a pool of unwanted emotions.

The New Zealand member picked up the drummer's head and laid it on the pillow next to him. He slowly pried Ashton's arms off his waist, and the same process for Ashton's legs that were hugging his thighs. Momentarily, the Aussie was the only one in bed as Calum stood by the window.

He took one of cigarettes from the box that Ashton keeps in a drawer and borrowed a lighter. Calum really was against smoking, but a few times of hypocrisy would not hurt anyone. Maybe besides himself, but he was up for it.

Opening the window, Calum lit the cigarette and brought it to the his mouth. He allowed the toxins to settle in his body before expelling it outside in the air. It was strange to the Kiwi, for he was relaxed and felt like he was Ashton for a quick moment. He surfed through his hair with his right hand, lightly shaking the cigarette butt that was between his middle and index finger outside so the debris would fall out the window.

Calum thought about going back to bed, but he was not that interested to finding more reasons that would make him fall deeper down the hole than he already was.

Another time, if it was possible, Calum thought. He took one last suck at his cigarette and exhaled the grey clouds outside the window again. The sun was almost falling asleep, and the colors in the sky was growing dark molds. The air was transitioning again. Temperature was dropping gradually, and the wind's whistles were colder. Calum knew it was a period of change, and sadly, he could not be the same as the weather.

"Fuck," Calum muttered, watching as the cigarette fell through his fingers and down to the pavement. He shut the window and returned the box and lighter to their original places. He calmly walked out of the room since he could not stand littering those cigarettes around the house.

A few minutes elapsed, and Ashton woke up to an empty space next to him. Bed sheets ruffled, the pillow having a gap where Calum's head was originally resting. He missed the warmth of their embrace, and the security it brought him. Ashton liked being around Calum; it was a fact. There was something changing between them, for neither of them knew what they wanted to do with the other. It was clear that they wanted to do what was best for the other, and a little for themselves.

Quietly, Ashton stayed in bed as the sun was shyly running away. The Aussie thought about going for a smoke, but he had a sudden urge to stop. Not ready for the intoxicating air slipping through his lips again, he had to stop.

On another note, he really missed Calum. Ashton wondered where he went...

* * *

Michael left to go out with one of his girl-friends the next night. He promised the other members that he would arrive home as soon as possible, and the latest he would arrive would be the next morning. Luke and Ashton laughed together in the living room as they made a ton of innuendos that Michael was going to get laid. Calum smiled weakly from the couch, paying more attention to his phone than their conversation.

"It's like the tables have turned, and we get to say all the things he's been saying to us whenever we go out with someone!" Luke exclaimed, rolling on the floor while Ashton wiped away a tear.

"I liked your analogies about his penis and cheese sausages, that killed me!" Ashton started laughing again.

Calum moved around in his seat, subtly sending annoyed glances.

"Oh Cal, why aren't you laughing with us?" Luke crawled next to the couch and sat next to the Kiwi.

"It was alright, but I'm not in the mood to joke."

"What? Mr. Hood? The one that likes inappropriate jokes?" Luke faked being surprised, earning himself a soft punch from Calum.

Ashton giggled watching them, but he was particularly observing Calum more. Luke stood up to go into the kitchen to make himself a quick snack. The drummer took this opportunity to take a seat next to Calum and ask him some questions.

Ashton stared at Calum with a deadpan face, "Are you gay?"

"What, wait, what? No?" Calum stammered, distancing himself from Ashton. However, the couch could only allow him to move away with very little space.

"Bisexual then?"

"No."

"Pansexual? Demisexual? Definitively not asexual."

"I don't even know any of those, Ashton!" Calum raised his voice, displaying his discomfort clearly.

"How can you like me then? You're not into guys at all, but you are into girls. I don't get you, Cal," Ashton retorted.

"I-It's not that complicated, Ashton. You just don't understand how it feels to fall in love with you."

"Hey!"

" 'Hey' back at ya!" Luke appeared at the doorway, walking over to take the spot Ashton was at before his original seat was stolen.

Luke positioned a plastic plate carefully on his lap, licking his lips at the toast with Nutella. Ashton suddenly came up with an idea and whispered to Calum, "I have an idea, and you tell me what you feel from it."

The drummer crossed over to Luke and smiled widely. Luke eyed him as he chewed, awkwardly waving his free hand as a greeting. Ashton leaned a little too close, so Luke moved back. Ashton planted his hand on Luke's knee and caressed the spot. Luke swallowed thickly. "Wha-"

"How long has it been since you had someone interacting with you as close this?" Ashton seriously spoke. Calum finally understood what he was trying to do, and he was not sure if he liked it.

"Uuuuh, are you coming onto me?" Luke nervously retorted, biting his lip since it became a habit for him lately.

"I'm not, but Calum, over there," Ashton's thumb pointing behind him to where the Kiwi was, "is having a sexual identity crisis. I'm just trying to help him decide."

"I dunno, I may not be the best person for this job," Luke tried to eat away his toast while Ashton changed his attention towards Calum. Luke munched and swallowed quickly, finishing his snack earlier than he intended to.

Luke just wanted to eat, but there was a strange unresolved issue between Calum and Asthon that suddenly had to drag him into it. He was the lovable one in the band, so they would not pick on him for anything. He got on their nerves a few times occasionally, but he knew that he was only playing. Luke settled his empty plastic plate on the coffee table and hoped that Ashton would stop being awkward.

"Fuck it," the drummer spontaneously stated, shrugging his shoulders as he straightforwardly kissed Luke.

Calum was awed by the sheerness of Ashton's determination. He was even more shocked when he noticed that Luke started kissing back! Things were going to get interesting for him. However, he was slightly getting jealous because he wanted to be the one swapping spit with the drummer. Actually, he was extremely jealous. The Kiwi's heart thumped louder and cracked. He wanted to melt to the floor and start again the next day.

Ashton crawled into Luke's lap and kept his kissing synchronized with Luke's. His ass was grinding upon Luke's zipper and made a stimulating motion to the younger boy's cock. He felt it twitch in it confinements and made Ashton smile.

Luke sure was a horndog. However, Ashton had to play a little rougher if he wants Luke's assistance with Calum's sexual identity problem.

The drummer bit down on Luke's lower lip, pulling it slightly. Releasing the flesh, he snatched the lips with his and pushed harder at Luke. When he felt Luke's tongue trying to enter his mouth, he only slipped his own tongue underneath Luke's and licked upwards until it flicked off. He did again a couple more times just to mess with Luke, but he always knew Luke had something for  _really_ good kisses.

"Wanna help now?" Ashton uttered as he pulled away.

Luke only nodded vigorously.

"Okay," the drummer said, "let's help Calum figure out if he's into guys."

* * *

Calum did not understand how any of the things happening to him was real, but they sadly were. They were inside his room, and Ashton and Luke were sucking each other's faces on  _his_ bed. What was he doing? He was forced to watch them on the chair he used for his desk.

His eyes focused pointedly at how Ashton did his famous saddle and rested on Luke's lap. He was not sure why he voluntarily stood back and spectated the show. Calum could easily exit the room and watch TV. Hell, he can play Fifa by himself. Anything would satisfy him besides watching his crush and best friend create a gay porno.

The two blonds started whispering and giving Calum overt glances as they giggled. The Kiwi had every right to get out of the room, but he liked Ashton's smirks and lustful eyes. So, he would it pass at the moment.

"Does any of this turn you on, Cal?" Ashton cooed, rubbing his clothed crotch against Luke's. The taller member squeezed the drummer's ass with both hands when he was talking.

"N-No," Calum stuttered, hoping that the growing erection in his pants would stop.

"Oh, really?" Ashton smirked, whispering something delightful in Luke's ear. Soon, the blonds in the room were sharing the same smirk.

Ashton took a seat next to Luke and began unzipping his pants. The little mountain that was bulging out made Calum want to strip Ashton nude, but he had control over himself. However, the tolerance was hanging onto a very thin line.

Calum was so distracted that he did not notice Luke climbing on top of him. The chair began to lean back and Luke's weight was adding onto Calum's. "Ashton has a way with words, so I'm doing this for you, mate."

"Wh-" Luke's lips planted over Calum's sloppily, and they battled it out.

Calum had to secure Luke from falling over, so he wrapped his arms around the other's waist. Luke kept both knees hugging the New Zealander's sides as  _someone's_ tongue was messing with his lip ring. Ashton wiggled out of his jeans and pulled his boxers over to underneath his balls. Ridding himself of his shirt, he stroked himself lazily, trying to hold out for later.

"Lu-Luke, Lukey, I thought you weren't into guys yourself," Calum remarked, trying to get his mind away from the lust that was clouding over him.

"I like kissing and blow jobs. I like hand jobs also," Luke responded, giving the bassist an annoying yet lovable grin. "I don't care about  _who_ gives it to me."

"You're sounding a lot like Ashton," Calum murmured, trying to push Luke off because he could not get caught up in Ashton's dirty game.

Luke looked back over at the drummer, signalling a problem about to occur. Ashton nodded and smirked at the little resistance Calum was displaying. "Calum Hood," called Ashton.

The Kiwi moved his head to the right to see clearly at his best friend since Luke was still sitting on his lap. However, he was not prepared to see Ashton's dick out and proud. Luke got off and knelt on the floor, then he started undoing Calum's belt. "Why don't you let Luke play with you a little before I can, huh?" Ashton stated, grasping his length and giving himself a long and slow jerk.

"I-I-I, uh, shit," Calum plainly stared at Ashton with his mouth a gap, "Err, fine."

With that as a sign of agreement, Luke unzipped Calum's restrictions and released the hard-on. "I've never done this, but I'm doing this for you, buddy." Luke cautioned, but the Kiwi nodded.

The bassist laid back and watched Luke ambitiously bobbing his head, wetting his cock with such energy. Calum peeked over at Ashton, who was wanking himself with the same potential. His eyes wandered and locked on the drummer's hand riding up his stomach and twisting his nipple. Was the oldest member always been that lewd with himself? Calum had to know.

Luke's teeth slightly grazed at his head, and Calum flinched at the contact. "Watch out, Luke! I want to still have a dick at the end of this."

Ashton laughed as his voice was gradually getting deeper. The drummer needed more stimulation; it had to be more than his hands. He badly wanted someone else to ravish his body, to make him beg for more until he had his fill. His mind hazed his thoughts, but there was  _someone_ that he kept thinking about. Someone with black hair, a straight smile, an adorable laugh, and muscular arms. Someone that gets confused for being the Asian member of 5 Seconds of Summer a lot when he is actually not at all. Something pulled at his heart, and he  _knew_ who it was.

"Jesus, fuck," Ashton cursed, suppressing the tight knot in his stomach.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Calum uttered. "You can't finish yourself off. You said you and Luke would help me figure out my sexuality, remember?"

"Fuck me," Ashton remarked, undoubtedly setting himself up for a quirky retort.

"That's what I was hoping to get out of this," Calum replied, cheekily smiling as usual. Ashton saw the look on Calum's face, and he remembered how it was simple it used to be before the bassist confessed to him. To the oldest member, he felt like it was the same moment being replayed, but there was something changing each time.

Luke stopped his movements because he had to roll around on the floor to laugh at Calum's witty comments. The sound from Luke echoed and was quite contagious. Calum started to laugh, and Ashton just bandwagon with the rest. Though, Ashton had something burning inside of him. It was never there, but it was certainly surging in his body.

"Ay, Ash, let's move things along faster, yea?" Luke rolled over to Ashton, hoisting himself to sit on the bed.

"Fine."

Luke began stripping and Ashton removed his boxers, and Calum really liked where things were leading up to. Ashton and Luke naked bodies created a warm friction with their stomach as their lips attached to each other. The Kiwi wanted to join terribly, so he quickly took off his clothes and left his socks on. He was too lazy to do it because Luke and Ashton were already getting frisky.

"Nuh uh, Cal," Ashton giggled, "you have to get the lube and condoms. If you don't have any, then go buy some. Luke and I can have fun until then."

"That's-"

"Just go," Luke added, reclining his back until he was flat on the bed. Ashton rested on top of him while Luke's hard-on poked at Ashton's hole. "You might want to hurry."

"Fuck you guys," Calum grumbled, crossing his arms.

"I hope you can soon," Ashton stated bluntly. "I have some in my drawers back at my room if you don't have any, though."

Calum dashed out of the door as Ashton and Luke laughed at him.

"Hey, Luke," said the drummer.

"What?"

"After this, date Calum for me, will ya?" Ashton asked sincerely, placing soft kisses down the side of Luke's neck.

"Why?" Of course, he was going to say that. Anyone with the decent mind would say so.

Ashton faintly chuckled, giving Luke's skin goosebumps as his breath ghosted over it. "Because I can't do it. I can't love him like everyone else can."

"Whadda talking about?"

"I just can't pretend to go out with him, Luke. I can't even try. My feelings for him are oil, and his feelings are water." Ashton stated, with hurt showing itself in his eyes. Luke saw what he needed to agree doing the task.

"Shit, fine."

"Thank you, Luke. Don't tell him about our conversation," Ashton leaned in to kiss Luke as a form of gratitude. "I really hope you can turn him around, he's been too down lately,"

Calum soon rushed back in the room, trying not to pant hard over how much energy he used to just find a lube bottle and condom packet. Nonetheless, he was back.

Ashton and Luke waved at the Kiwi as their eyes traveled down to see the bassist's erection in its high glory. They whispered dirty little jokes with each other, but Calum did not care. Not the slightest. He was going to have sex with Ashton, maybe with Luke also, and it's going to fucking amazing. Or at least he hoped so. Good thing that Calum was optimistic.

"You gonna be gentle?" The drummer stated with a witty tone.

Calum shook his head as he chuckled at Ashton. It was going to be the first time he had sex with Ashton while sober. The drunk moments he had with the male did not count since Calum could not remember them vividly. Besides, he knew he was going to be gentle with the older member, for he wanted Ashton to safe and loved. He did not want him to be in any pain unless the member liked or allowed it. He opened the lube bottle and heard the recognizable click it makes when the cap flies open.

Pouring a small amount on his hands, he slicked two fingers and began caressing it at Ashton's hole. His dick twitched when he felt the muscle. The Kiwi pushed hesitantly before completely going inside of the other member. Ashton hissed a tad, but he was okay.

"I'm going to get on all fours, boys," Ashton mentioned, shifting himself on the bed to the position he stated. "Luke, bring your dick in front of me. I'll suck you off."

"Kinky," Calum laughed heartily, massaging his fingers down the line of Ashton's ass. The drummer did not have to respond to that to know that they would be lost if he was not commanding them around.

Luke did move to where Ashton wanted him, and his eyes focused on the drummer's damp tongue playfully messing with the head of his cock. Calum stayed outside of the bed while the oldest member's feet were dangling off the edge. Luke was on his knees with his dick inside of Ashton's mouth, enjoying himself to the lustful bliss.

It only took a quick second for Calum to just push past the muscle's ring and plunged his fingers deep until he reached the interstices of his hand. Ashton left his mouth wide open, moaning freely since no one was home but them. Luke clutched his manhood and brushing his cherry-colored head on the center of the drummer's tongue. Ashton tried to continue sucking off Luke, he really did, but it was extremely hard when every thrust Calum did with his fingers sent electricity up his spin.

"Y'know," Calum arrogantly whispered, "this was not how I imagined our first time having sober sex would go."

"Shut up, Cal," Luke remarked, for he spoke the words that Ashton would have wanted to say if he did not have Luke's penis stuffed in his mouth.

"I'm going to put it in, Ash," The bassist stated, earning a nod from the oldest member.

There was something with the way Calum was so gentle like a koala handling their baby, or that Calum needed a desperate haircut. Maybe if Calum did something about his stupid lovely smile or his strong cologne. Overall, there was  _something_  about him that Ashton admired. If Ashton was not facing Luke, he was absolutely sure that he was going to see the familiar smile and puppy eyes. If, for a second, Ashton really believed it, he was adoring the way the New Zealand member was.

Physically and emotionally, it was just as Calum said it would be... wait, that cannot be right.

Ashton mentally wiped away the thought of him actually considering that he  _liked_ the Kiwi back. Impossible, he thought. That would only be true if fishes are able to climb trees. Impossible. Stark insanity. Ashton will not return Calum's feelings. He's his best friend, friends with benefits, and most importantly, band member.

If the drummer tried to use those specific reasons, he could numb the feelings until it was blended into the nothingness.

Ashton Irwin will  _not_ love Calum Hood. There are too much things are risk, and they all worked hard to get their fame. The media will not accept them. Their families will be disappointed. The fans will hate it. They will get more death threats, and no one will buy their band's music. People are too judgmental. He was shy. Excuses after more excuses, Ashton anxiously needed many reasons to not fall in love. Unaware of an excellent reason as to why he would not fall in love, Ashton was  _terrified_ and a coward. He was not ready for settling down because he- "I'm going to flip you over, Ash," Calum rasped voice brought the oldest member back to the scene.

"O-Okay."

* * *

Luke and Calum were nude and asleep in bed while Ashton was in the backyard. He was lucky he was able to walk since Calum treated him like one of their precious instruments. Fully dressed, Ashton sat down on the pavement, contemplating whether or not he should smoke the box of cigarettes in his pocket.

Having sex with two members of your band at the same time was oddly fulfilling. To Ashton, it was something for him to raise his glass to. Like the season changing, things were subtly changing all around Ashton. The temperature of the air, the ants next meal, the barks of the dogs, the places the cats went, and the oldest member's insides.

First of all, he was leaning towards not smoking the cigarettes like he usually did. Actually, he wanted to quit. Second, he needed to sort himself out. It was beginning to bug him that his lack of control over his emotions was leading him to unwanted situations. And for the last reason, he could not figure what it was, but it must be important, too.

When morning hits, Ashton was going to implement a lot of things. Nothing over the top, but simple ideas instead. He was going to find another alternative to counteract smoking and balance his feelings. Keep the unnecessary things locked up and the necessary things free. Whatever that meant to him, that is.

His hair rustled with the wind, and he somehow felt small again. It was like he went and stepped out of reality and entered his past again. Back when he never knew the other members and was barely entering elementary school. He was not quite sure of how that reminded him of his early years, but it did.

A smile appeared on his face to the memories. With no one is sight, Ashton thought he could rant to himself to clear his head. "Luke's going to try to be with Calum by tomorrow. I want Calum to be happy, because he won't find that with  _me_. He'll be just fine falling in love with somebody else. And this feels weird talking to myself, but I like it."

The drummer closed his eyes and listened to the wind playing in the background. It was soothing and pleasant, bringing tranquility to his cluttered mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately, I have been reading a lot of other fanfics but also writing this chapter. I then got distracted from this one Thai series and I'm hooked on it! i spent about two days to finish season 1 and caught up to where it currently is at. I am also moving, so I have been helping pack and throw things away to prepare for settling into the new house. I also had a A LOT of problem with registering at the school I want to attend for my last year of high school. I just recently, finally, got into it (yesterday) and I'm stress-free from all that registration stuff. But now, I have to fix one of my classes since it was not what I signed up for ( I'm trying to get into AP Stats, a class barely anyone at my school takes). I also have some family troubles from here and there, which I am currently struggling to isolate myself from their drama. I can't write when I'm hearing my parents fight and such, it makes me very uncomfortable. But yeaah, I'm sorry it took this long to write!
> 
> SOOOOO, that is all for this chapter. Leave kudos, comments, questions, whatever. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day/night!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello my fellow friends and readers and stuff! This chapter came out a lot shorter than the others, but I only recently felt like writing today. Life has been completely hectic for me, but it's all for the experience! Just endure and keep going. Anyways, this is the LAST chapter! Please do enjoy as much as you can c:

Ashton wished he had never existed because there were internal changes undergoing within himself that he was not prepared for. His heart was chipping apart for every second that was fading away. The drummer understood a few different heartbreaks in his life, and the one he was experiencing was definitively not over unfulfilled Christmas presents. It was not when his parents forgot that it was his birthday. It was not when his lost his dog for a week. It was not when his  _little brother_ was lost for about thirty minutes. It was something foreign, new, uncharted. The feeling had something to it that made Ashton cringe in pain but yearning for something.  _  
_

He just did not know what it was.

As he tried to figure out what was wrong with him on the living room couch, Luke was hanging out in Calum's room. Luke promised Ashton that he would try to go out with Calum. Whatever unresolved tension the two had, it just dragged Luke into it. Luke had a few moments in his life that he crushed over Calum, but they had always fall out. They could not click the way Luke saw Ashton and Calum did.

Luke was on the desk chair, tapping at his iPhone to earn a new high score in Candy Crush. The crunching and munching that resonated throughout the room, and the little giggles coming from the blond's sweet mouth. Tap and slide; drag and cross the finger there; all directions led him closer to victory. His feet curled as he had a few remaining candies left.

"Luke?" Calum laid on his bed peacefully, interrupting Luke's concentration.

"Hm?" Luke hummed in response while Calum keeps watch over the empty side where Ashton had rested.

"Don't tell Michael that, you, that  _we_ did something altogether, 'kay?" Calum shyly murmured.

"No problem! I got you."

"Thank you," Calum tried to stare at Luke with gratitude, but there was something in his eyes that looked like it was regretting everything that had happened.

Luke knew he could not just flat-out say that they should date, for Calum was not that type of person to be easily swept. The New Zealander liked someone putting the time and effort into getting to know him and trying their best to impress him. He never wanted to settle with someone that was too simple, for Calum was a rapt person. He liked to be engrossed in someone or something out of self-pleasure.

In other words, he liked interesting people because they were just simply  _interesting_. Luke was sure he was not in that category. He opened himself to the idea that he and Calum should date, but he was contemplating more of the idea that he and Calum  _shouldn't_  date. Luke was doing the action purely for Ashton to slightly put away the tension that had turned his best friends against each other, but Luke couldn't see himself with Calum in a romantic sense.

Calum had one of the sharpest jawlines he had ever seen while still being quite the most cuddliest person he had ever known. Calum was always that touchy-feely person, so he often was touching Luke whenever they were close. It happened so often that it was natural to occur between the both of them. It would be weird if it stopped otherwise. For them to date so suddenly would only cause the rift to spread wider rather than giving them proper closure.

"Cal?" Luke said under his breath, using one hand to tap at the other forehand repeatedly.

"Y'ah?"

* * *

Ashton was beginning to dread his shaggy hair, but he was too lazy to get a haircut. He also didn't want to see his friends because the shame lurking underneath his flesh was mighty enough to terrify him from meeting them. Without realizing it, Ashton's hand was close to touching the door handle. He stopped himself and retreated his large hands from the petty knob.

He needed a distraction. A good one that consisted of him going far from the band and having a few pints for himself. The drummer scratched the back of his head, trying to find a stronger reason to oppose the idea. There was none.

Swiftly grabbing his car keys, he leaves through the door and slams his car door before driving off in a rush. In the name of negligence, Ashton was purely doing it to satisfy his determination of not believing he was falling for Calum.

There wasn't a Calum.

There wouldn't be weird weddings.

He detested the scenario of waking up to that idiot's face every goddamn morning.

Ashton would be pissed to kiss those lips while they have morning breath...

The red light forces Ashton to halt in his tracks and roughly rub the remorse and shame off his forehead. There was a red light inside of Ashton's head that told him to stop feeling certain emotions, and the light never changed in his mind. There was this overwhelming fear whenever Ashton thought of letting his feelings push him past the bloody light when he clearly shouldn't. He didn't want to collide with something he did not want, so he waited for the lights to change in his head. However, it did flicker from time to time...

The green light replaces the red, and Ashton pushes his foot on the gas and drives away. The traffic light in his head still did not change, though.

Meanwhile, Calum and Luke left the room to think about what they got themselves into. Luke decided that a therapeutic, warm shower would be excellent, and Calum decided to smoke another cigarette. The deadly substance was becoming appealing as Calum inhaled it enough. However, there was something else killing him inside that was worse than the toxins that he was inhaling.

* * *

Michael was waiting outside by the porch while on his phone. He was waiting for Ashton to arrive home for the past few hours because the drummer left spontaneously without leaving a text or word that he was leaving. The band was very informative of where everyone was going, so this was a clear sign to Michael that something was off within Ashton's mind.

The minivan pulled into the driveway, and Ashton came out of the driver's door before closing it. Michael slipped his phone back into his pocket as he prepared himself to talk to the drummer. Michael walked up to Ashton, but the drummer refrained from talking and the silence was enough for Michael to get the point that it was something too personal.

As Ashton shook his head and approached the house, Michael followed along blindly. They opened the door while a different door shut. The wheel of fate turns for Ashton once again. "A-Ashton?" Calum mumbled in disbelief.

"Shit."

"Yeah, you got explaining to do," Michael added a snark comment.

"Ugh, shut up," Ashton and Calum retorted together.

Michael shot his hands up and walked away from the two, clearly taking the hint that he was not needed in the room. Once Michael was in another room, Ashton glanced at anything that was not Calum's degrading glare. The discomforting atmosphere winning over Ashton's will; the drummer decided it was time to head back to his room.

Calum clenched his fist, thinking of all the inconvenience that Ashton caused. Calum smacked his hand against the drummer's chest and pushing him towards the front door. Until his best friend's back was against the wooden frame, he began closing his hand into a fist to grasp the other male's shirt tightly. "Stop running away from me, Ashton."

"Let go, Calum," Ashton mumbled, not having the willpower to shove his best friend away.

"You fucker," Calum shook his head a little faster while not giving a direct stare at the other male. "I hate you."

"Okay," Ashton muttered. The red light in his heart began flickering again. It flicked from crimson to black as Ashton watched Calum breaking all the circuits in his head.

"I fucking loved you," Calum was beginning to raise his voice, "and you decided to toy around with me until it was too much for you!"

"Calum, let go and just get over yourself," Ashton said with a shaky voice, unsure if he was going to hold his facade any longer. Calum rested his forehead against Ashton's chest and let out a wavering breath.

The scent of tobacco familiarizes itself with Ashton's senses. He instantly grabs Calum's shirt with both hands and pulls him close enough to his nose. The flickering light goes steady and green, and Ashton was gone. "No way, Cal."

Calum tried to step back as Ashton's sudden strength surprised him. "L-Let go of me!" Calum shouted as he yanked himself away from Ashton's hands.

Luke and Michael kept quiet inside of a nearby room because they doubted their entrance into this problem will mitigate anything. All they could do was listen in and hope the predicament can save itself. The house was beginning to lose its value as a home to them as Ashton and Calum continued to battle out their emotions.

Calum pushed Ashton back as many times as he could, but the drummer was relentless on trying to get a hold of his best friend. Calum shook his head as he threw a few pillows from the couch at Ashton. Calum began jogging down the hallway as Ashton sped behind him. Calum's shirt was just inches away from Ashton's fingers to grab. A little further. Just one more extra effort. A tad more strength... Ashton pushed himself to finally reach for the New Zealander.

"Calum, please!" Ashton touched and held Calum's shirt. He was willing to go against his own set of rules and expectations on himself to help his best friend. "Please, Cal, please..."

The bassist stopped resisting to the drummer's dreadful touch. With a tone that was more pitiful than anything Ashton had ever heard, Calum spoke, "I'm so fucking tired, Ash."

Ashton lowered his hold over Calum, and he kept going until his hand interlocked with Calum's. It's real tedious to Calum to repeatedly have his heart on the line, and he wanted to stop himself from getting hurt all over again each time. He felt like more foolish by each unsuccessful try. So, yeah, he was fucking tired of it. He had every right to say that. To think that a little simple gesture like holding his hand was completely making him unravel his negative emotions into something positive again.

Ashton soon let his other hand connect with Calum's empty one, and they were stopped pulling against the magnetic wave that was bringing them together. "What are we fucking doing?" Calum chuckled, making the antipathy that was cursing him within dissipate.

"I dunno," Ashton retorted, now resting his forehead on Calum's. "I kinda really want to..."

No force was stopping them was leaning closer. Their lips craved to call the other's name until their voices' exhausted it. Calum pressed himself closer to Ashton's body while the drummer pushed their bodies closer to a nearby wall. It was like a messy artwork was going to be created on pure and raw canvas. Their lips touched, but they both hesitated to open their mouth for the fear of having past and current sins spill out lovingly.

Exploding in the part of their brain that holds their real emotion, they opened their mouth and synced together like two important pieces that makes a car function. The stoplight that was placed in Ashton's mind had its circuits fried, but he still was going because everything was a green light. His hands held onto Calum's tighter and hidden feelings were being expressed in every second they prolonged their kiss.

Ashton Irwin, drummer of 5 Seconds of Summer, was legitimately crying after so long. The same intoxicating taste of tobacco he quit was lingering in Calum's mouth. He knew he changed something in Calum to make the innocent band mate turn to cigarettes for comfort. He saw Calum become him while he became Calum. The New Zealander kissed softly while turning Ashton's back to the wall, holding him in place securely. "You always like to run away, Ash."

"Not this time, Cal," Ashton muttered, tears trailing onto Calum's cheek. "How about you?"

"I ran away before because you hurt me, Ash," Calum couldn't distinguish his tears over Ashton's, but there was a wet sensation flooding his face. "I stopped running away because I realized that it really did nothing for me."

"Oh, really now?" Ashton smiled, pecking his lips gently against Calum's.

"Yeah," Calum mumbled while flustered, "you're someone I shouldn't be running away from."

"I'm sorry for the mess I created," Ashton started, "I was originally going to drink and then come home drunk."

Calum frowned to that idea, and he knew that drunkenness would not fix anything. It would only augment their struggle. Upon opening his mouth, Ashton stopped him from using his voice, "I realized I didn't need to get drunk to know that I fallen in love with you."

Now that was a shocker to Calum. "Um, I, well, I duuno how to respond to that."

"At least tell me if you still feel the same."

"Yes, fucking yes, Ash! Goddamn it, yes!" Calum shouted, shaking and jumping with a bubbly energy.

Ashton used to be cynical about certain ideas like love, and he thanked his best friend for helping him realize how it is. The drummer realized that the book they were co-writing together wasn't all that happy, but it had its moments. They experienced a good amount of unlovable angst and blissful tranquility together. It's because they chose to stop running away from their true feelings and acted on them.

* * *

After weeks of hard performances and signings and meet-ups, Ashton could wake up feeling content in his life. He would wake up in his bunk in the bus, and he would see the same bassist's face sleeping like the excitement and wildness of their fame didn't affect him. Michael and Luke found it totally cool that their band mates were dating now because they can joke around about a lot of things with them. Like forcing the new couple to share one slice of pizza instead of getting their own separate slice because according to Michael, "Couples should eat the same food from the same plate with the same amount as one person should be eating."

They may or may not have fought with Michael on that one, but regardless, they were finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sucker a happy endings bc I'm tired of having endings where things are all sad and stuff. I need more happy stuff in my life ^-^ hahaha, anyways, thank you for reading this long! I appreciate everything you guys do! Enjoy life and have a beautiful day/night!


End file.
